Posts filed under 'Scheduling'
Girls may want to have fun, but kids just want some attention. You can save yourself and them a lot of trouble by planning time for the kids every day. It doesn’t have to be much (or extravagant). They just want to know that you are there and available.
1. Eat together as a meal every chance you get. Even if it’s just fast food, still take the time to sit around the table and talk (about the day, the weather or the normal nonsensical stuff that kids can come up with).
2. Say a prayer at night. Do it one on one with each child or as a family with everyone getting a chance to add something if he wants. Not only is this great family time, but it also teaches a habit that will help your children for the rest of their lives.
3. Turn off the electronics. Read together as a family instead. It will help everyone wind down at the end of the day and make sleep something that comes easy.
4. Just say yes. When your child asks if you’ll play with him then say yes – even if you had something else you needed or wanted to do. Taking thirty minutes to play a game of Go Fish will not bring the world to an end.
5. Talk in the car. When you are shuffling from activity to activity, don’t drown out each other with the radio. Use that time to find out about what your child is doing or experiencing. They will know that what they are doing is important and that you are interested. (It will also make them less likely to misbehave or skip out since they know you’ll be asking questions).
A little attention now can help you develop lasting relationships with your children – something that will be extremely valuable as they grow up and face situations where your guidance could help. Make time to enjoy your children while they are still children enough to enjoy.
February 3rd, 2008
How I feel is no reason for not doing what I know to do. It IS an excuse, but those are a dime a dozen and don’t really mean anything. The truth is that if I’ll just do what I know to do then it usually over comes my feelings anyway.
I’ve challenged my family (veiled attempt at challenging my husband) to follow the chore chart for 21 days in a row. According to some expert I read somewhere, if you do something for 21 days then it becomes a habit. I figure if I can get my whole clan to do the chores on the list everyday for 21 days then I won’t have to nag them any more.
Times like that (when I put them in print) help me see just how delusional I am.
Delusional or not, I’m still going to attempt to form some kind of consistency in my family.
1. Use a timer to clock the chore time. A specific amount of time at a specific point in the day with the challenge to do as much as you can in that time – EVERYONE participates (which means mom will have to quit writing!).
2. Focus on baby steps. Instead of pushing them for the 21 days, we can start at just one day. After a week of getting a “treat” for consistently doing it each day we will move it out to a week (and a bigger treat). After a couple of weeks of being consistent with the week then we will move it to a month (that’s even MORE than what “they” say sets a good habit).
3. Be an example. It doesn’t motivate anyone when I sit at the computer working while yelling at them through the house. I need to pick up a broom or mop or rag and get to work. If I am will to work and make it fun then the kids will jump on in. It’s the dictatorship that they rebel against.
4. Reality has to come into the picture. We live in the woods (dirt and sand seem to jump right through any open door). We have pets (pet fur wads together under a standing piece of furniture in the attempt at creating new animals. It doesn’t matter how often you sweep, the fur will find each other). We have kids (do I really have to explain?). The house will never be prefect for more than a few minutes (unless the kids are away). It is lived in and will show it, but that is okay.
Our family can reach a place of consistency. We are already on the way (we just don’t do EVERYTHING consistently). By this time next year, the house will be lived-in clean, clutter free, and ready for company at the drop of a hat!
See – I really am delusional. 
December 20th, 2007
Cleaning has never been a priority in my life. My clothes were often separated by piles – (a) these need to be washed and (b) these have just been washed. My lack of organization almost drove my husband nuts in the beginning of our marriage. Now he says he’s just given up (or given in).
In the spirit of compromise, I have been working hard to become more clutter conscious. My mother-in-law was over the top, so I will never compare to that. Plus, there are three boys (and often a gaggle of guy friends) all running in and out of the house on a regular basis. It’s getting there, though. Now I can have guests over without needed a one week warning that they are coming!
1. Make a schedule. The things that have to be done weekly or monthly are charted out and hung for the whole world to see. It has gone through more changes and tweaking than I can remember, but what hangs there now works for our family most days. Mon – Thurs each has about three or four things that need to be done. On Friday, I tackle an entire room (organize, de-clutter, wash curtains, clean the ceiling fans, and re-arrange – mostly to annoy my husband). Saturday and Sunday are both kept empty. It’s free time for the family!
2. Enlist the family. Not only is there a chore chart for the weekly chores, but daily chores (sweeping, picking up, feeding the animals, even fixing meals) is divided among the whole family. The chores are printed out on individual cards and at the first of each month we take turns dividing them out. At least no one can come to me and ask, “What do I need to do?” Everyone wakes up knowing just what is expected.
3. Work as a team. The more we cooperate, the faster we get things done. It’s important that we all understand that the jobs aren’t about the individual, the jobs and chores are about keeping the home looking and feeling its best. It’s about good stewardship. Twice a day (first thing in the morning and just after dinner) we come together to knock out all the chores (personal and weekly). We make it a race against time to see how much we can do before the buzzer goes off.
4. Be consistent – especially in the beginning. It takes about 21 days of doing something every day in order to make it a habit. Challenge the family to do all of the chores for twenty one days – offer a prize at the end that everyone can enjoy. After that, strive for a consistent chore time so that each person knows what is expected of them and when it is expected.
5. Create a home for your things. The new rule in our home is if you want to keep something, you have to make a home (and that home can’t be stacked on top of something else or sitting on MY desk!). If it is found outside its home, it is subject to banishment.
6. Do one more things. Every night before I go to be, I look over my list of accomplishments for the day. I try to push my self to do just one more thing before I go to be. It’s amazing how much nicer the morning is when you wake up to a home that is clean and clutter free.
Fourteen years of marriage has slowly guided me to the place I am today. My home is still not perfect. There are days when nothing gets done – or at least it feels that way. There are mornings when I don’t want to get up because I know what I will face when I walk in the kitchen. There is still a lot of room for growing and maturing in my clutter free life. It’s getting there, though.
December 8th, 2007
The schedule around our house has been a little warped these last couple of months. Just when you think you have it under control – bam! You’re hit with a major mix up. Trying to keep a semblance of normalcy is difficult enough without adding the burden of expanding my responsibilities. But it has to be done.
1. Keep it organized. Everything is written on one giant calendar the INSTANT it is scheduled (or as close to then as if physically possible). Like most things, if you wait then you’ll forget.
2. Keep it close. There is also a smaller calendar in my wallet, in case I’m confronted while I’m out. One quick glance will tell me if I can make that meeting, or if I have jury duty.
3. Plan ahead. You know those days that are going to be crazy long before they get here. Tuesdays are our crazies. We have bible study/play date at our home, Choir practice at church, and basketball at the local gym. This is not the day for a gourmet meal. Either something will go into the crock-pot first thing in the morning, or else the picnic basket will make its way into the menu (sandwiches CAN be fun you know).
4. Don’t give in. If no one has done the dishes, or the laundry, or the picking up, it can be overwhelming. Don’t give into the urge to panic. Start small. If you have a cleaning schedule (and you should) then follow that. If you can pick up an extra thing or two then do; if you can’t do more then don’t. Truth be told, you’ll probably be surprised at how quickly the jobs actually go once you quit dreading them and just start doing them.
5. Stay focused. Distractions will not get the job done – often they just add more work. If you know you have to get the laundry done, then don’t let the unexpected visit from you mother and law keep you from doing it. Politely excuse yourself while you start a load. If she’s still there after it dries then invite her to come in the laundry room while you fold.
Keeping a schedule really comes from making it a habitually part of your life. If you can keep your schedule for just three weeks, you’ll find that you can keep your schedule no matter what unexpected events get thrown your way.
October 31st, 2007
Having a balanced schedule does not mean giving up all the things you love to do in order to do the things you need to do. It simply requires that you manage your time and eliminate the things in your life that don’t enhance your goals or that do create more work.
1. Write out the goals you have for your personal life, your family life, and your career. Include short term goals (monthly or yearly) and long term goals (five years and ten years).
2. Make a schedule of all the things that you do in one week. Include all meeting, drive time, and commitments. Be sure you put in time for chores (like cooking, laundry, and cleaning).
3. Circle all the things you enjoy doing.
4. Highlight all the things you feel you are “called” to do.
5. Mark out those things that you don’t like to do and isn’t helping you in your long term goals.
6. Look at the things that you marked out. Is this something you can easily pass on to another member of your family or group? Maybe your husband is the chef in the family (or maybe one of the older children is showing a desire to work in the kitchen). Is it a job that would be better for you to PAY someone else to do (mow the lawn or clean the house)? Is it something that doesn’t really have to be done by anyone? Let go of those things that you don’t have to do.
7. Rewrite your schedule with just those items you have circled or highlighted. Overcome the urge to fill in the gaps. Allow your free time to be free time. You don’t have to schedule every minute in order to have an orderly life.
8. Think before you take on a new assignment. Ask yourself if it’s something that will enhance your goals, bring your family closer together, or make your future brighter?
9. Learn to say no. Just because you are asked doesn’t mean you have to agree. “Just say no” is a great motto to live by.
10. Enjoy your life. If you are doing things that make you miserable then you will be a miserable person to be around. Enjoy your life and the people around you will soon follow suit.
Being busy doesn’t mean you are using your time wisely. A balanced schedule is one that is focused and purposeful. By eliminating some activities, you can make your life (and your family’s experience) one that is full of joy.
October 15th, 2007
This is one of those days when I don’t seem to be able to get my mind in gear. Sleep was fine – and I got plenty of it. The house wasn’t trashed when I got up, so I didn’t start the day behind. The weather is even nice.
I would like to blame the days – they are getting shorter you know (probably caused by global warming), but the truth is I run into this situation every now and then. It’s particularly familiar when things have been running smoothly and right on track. Then comes the day when I just can’t get going, so I don’t. Things fall behind, projects are overdue, and my muse feels neglected.
Today is not a day that I can stay in a rut. I have to get it together because I have company coming in just a few hours. Before then, I need to straighten the house (the regularly scheduled maintenance activities) and finish my work. There isn’t time to sit around psyching myself up so that I don’t sit around. Maybe that is the key – always have something planned that involves other people and then I don’t have an excuse for NOT doing.
And the wheel just keeps on spinning. . .
September 25th, 2007
Yesterday was crazy around our house. Laundry day is normally a little chaotic, but this one was exceptionally so. I was determined to get everything done at all costs. It surprised me when I actually accomplished most of what I set out to do.
Laundry – washed, folded, AND put away
Meals – cooked, eaten, AND cleaned up
Living room – mopped and straightened
Articles – written and submitted
Study time
Bath time
Dishwasher loaded (and started before going to bed)
Story time
Bible study with the kids
We even took time out of the day to have company over for a visit. It worked out perfectly. They showed up just after the baby went down for his nap and left just as he woke up. The other mother and I were free to talk and enjoy each other’s company.
As I was finishing up last night, I wondered what I had done differently. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. To get it all done requires that the things that need to be done are done. That means I didn’t stop to watch a television show (or shows). Yesterday was just one push after another.
My thought this morning was “can I keep it up?” The only way to continue doing what needs to be done is to push aside my selfish thoughts. I get time for myself (I was able to take a bath last night before bed). It just may be that the time I want or the things I do aren’t what I would have done before.
Truth is, I don’t need to watch television. I get caught up in the 4 million channels that are available and just keeping telling my mind and body – after this show. There is always another one that comes on that I just have to watch.
Instead of wasting time in front of the tube, I’m going to be getting to the things that I need to do. What are you doing instead of doing what you should?
September 21st, 2007
Yesterday was a LONG day and the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was wash dishes. They’d already been “soaking” since Sunday night, so they needed to be done. My husband wasn’t taking the hints.
After he went to bed and the house quieted down and I finished my writing work for the day – I seriously considered going to bed. “You can do the dishes in the morning.”
I knew the voice. It comes around so often that I can almost recognize it even before it speaks. Procrastination was back. Despite how pleasing he sounds, he’s lying – and he knows it. I won’t get it done the next day. There will be just as many excuses to come up with tomorrow.
Plus, I reasoned with myself, even if I do get to it, I’ll just have to put something else off to have the time to do the dishes. “You can just get up a little earlier than normal.” Yes. Procrastination was right. I could get up earlier. But he also knew I wouldn’t. The days that I NEED to get up earlier are usually the ones that I end up oversleeping.
This is crazy – my own voice was trying to over ride procrastination. You have spent more time thinking about the job than it would take to do the job. Besides, didn’t you commit this morning to do “just one more thing?”
With a sigh that would have indicated to most outsiders that I was facing a fate close to death, I approached the sink. Ten minutes later, the dishes were washed, the dishwasher loaded, the sink sparkling clean, and I even loaded the dryer.
Procrastination is a sly little devil. He wants you to keep putting off what ever it is you know you need to do because that means you can’t be where you need to be.
A side note, I did get up early this morning (without the aid of an alarm clock even). Instead of having to spend the time cleaning up the mess I didn’t want to deal with, I was able to cook my husband a warm breakfast and visit with him before he had to start his morning commute. It was a much better use of my time – at least in my opinion. If procrastination had won, I bet I would have slept in. Who wants to face a pile of dirty dishes first thing in the morning?
September 19th, 2007
There is a misconception that some people are born organized and others are not. If that were true, I would fall into the later category. My room was always a mess, I never planned things out, and spontaneity was always my style of order.
Now I’m a mom – and one that is working at home and homeschooling the kids. Organization is no longer a choice or a trait; it is the only way to survive. The “organized” people of the world have been kind enough to put out books and books about becoming decluttered in life and spirit, and I’m reading as many as I can find time to read. None of them are perfect, but they all have a bit of wisdom that I’m applying to my life.
1. Lists are not a bad thing – especially if you follow them. You just can’t spend all day on making the list. I keep a To Do list on my desk. If I think about something I CAN’T do right then (make a phone call or run an errand) then I jot it on my list. Other wise, I try to do it then. Also, I have a list of things that I need to do daily that I print out. It helps me to know what I have to accomplish through out the day.
2. Sit down at the table to eat all meals. Eating in front of the television is not just bad for the waistline, but it steals quality time from your family. The greatest benefit to eating at the table is that it can’t become a clutter catcher. I noticed that our table was covered after just one day of not sitting down for meals.
3. Consistency is the key to a peaceful life. I started washing clothes on every Thursday. Now I PLAN for laundry on Thursday, the kids expect to get up and sort clothes on Thursday, and my husband expects an easy supper on Thursdays. By doing the same thing at the same time every body is ready and prepared for what is to come.
4. Make a list of chores cards and then have a drawing game every month to see who gets the privilege of doing what chores. The younger kids can draw fewer cards or be assigned a buddy to help them out. Do it at the supper table when every one is present (maybe dad will volunteer to join the “game”).
5. When in doubt, call in re-enforcements. I have a friend that will volunteer some time to help me if I get overwhelmed (although I try to always pay her something). If I have to go away for a couple of days or if things get too hectic because of one emergency or another (say there is an invasion of hundreds of red wasps in the attic that are coming in the house through the baby’s room) then she is there to get things in some what of an order for me.
Organization is not always easy for me. Finding the time to organize as well as the determination to follow through has come from much trial and error (and is still being perfected). The more I do, the more I know how to do, and the more I want to get done. Maybe one of these days, I will be the organized wife my husband dreams about at night .
August 23rd, 2007
“Where is your father?” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I’m reminded of a commercial where the kids have put the sprinkler in the living room and dad asks “where is your mother?” (For the record, the mom in the commercial is off shopping).
There’s one son in the family room bouncing the baby’s basketball. The oldest son had to get in there and fight with him – it’s a sibling thing (as I’ve tried to convince my husband who is an only child). The baby is in the pantry pulling out everything he can reach. I’m trying to block it all out and focus on what I’m writing – with some success. (Did I mention that my office is in the middle of the kitchen?”
Working at home (especially during those times when Dad is home) can be a test of talent, the ability to ignore the constant howl of “MOMMA,” and the completely trust that my husband will take care of it all (even if he is presently hiding in the bathroom).
It’s not always easy, but there are some guides that help me work.
1. Work with outlines. Don’t think about getting everything down in this first sitting. When things are crazy, then following a 1, 2, 3 format will make it easier for you to force a train of thought.
2. Set some rules for those around you. With so much going on around me, it can be difficult not to get distracted. The rule is that if I’m in the middle of writing, you have to wait until I acknowledge you. Nothing is more annoying than being interrupted during the flow of that perfect sentence, only to not be able to get it back.
3. No matter how many times you ask, or how many ways you may explain it, you are still mom. Everyone WILL expect you to know the answer, the solution, or the location of their missing items. Accept it, expect it, and deal with it.
4. Use the chaos to your benefit. Where do you think I came up with the idea for this particular article?
5. The writing has to be the focus, don’t think about the mess that was just left on the table or the dishes in the sink or the laundry sitting in the dryer. Write when it is time to write. Everything else can wait (and maybe even your husband and kids will do the chores before bed).
6. Make cards (like in soccer) with a red card being an emergency and a yellow card being a pressing need. When someone needs something from you, they can place the card on your desk.
7. Don’t wait until the last minute to do anything that you have known about. It never fails, that is the exact moment a family crisis will occur.
8. Learn to type with one hand. If there is a baby in the house, this is a skill that will come in as handy as any you have ever learned.
9. Work in spurts. Spend fifteen minutes doing some research or writing a paragraph. Spend fifteen minutes with the kids working on a project (like bath time or supper). That way they know that their moment is just around the corner. Set a timer if they need something tangible to focus on.
10. Take advantage of quiet times. If the kids are outside, or over at the grandparent’s house, use that time. It’s nice to spend a little time focused on you, but it won’t get those articles written.
Writing at home (or doing any job at home) takes some patience and adjustment – as much for your family as for yourself. If it doesn’t go smooth to start with, don’t panic. Try different ideas and ask the kids for help. Explaining to the whole family what you need to be able to do and the time that you need to do it will help you all get along a little better.
August 11th, 2007
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