Posts filed under 'Attitudes'
Yesterday I got a rejection for a magazine. It was one of those rejections that actually give feedback. I consider these a challenge. It is my goal to take the feedback and make the next query one that is accepted and purchased.
There are many people who do not believe in good rejections or failures. But the only people who ever fail are those that are attempting to reach for a goal or a dream. The difference between a good rejection and a bad rejection lies in my attitude of the letter.
I could be hurt that the magazine did not purchase all of my blood, sweat and tears. Defending what I wrote would be the natural response of many writers. It would be easy to turn up my nose and refuse to query that magazine again (but eventually a writer who does that will run out of places to query).
Instead of being hurt, I am grateful that the magazine didn’t accept my article. The editor was right (shock, dismay) that there could be more to the story. With some tweaking I can help others with the story and not just show off my own situation. Instead of defending the piece as it is written I need to embrace the vision that the editor offers for what it could become.
The more I am willing to improve then the farther I can go. I refuse to see the rejection as a negative. It is a red flag challenging me to send something that is perfect for that magazine and that no editor could ever refuse.
May 7th, 2008
It seems that it is easier for people born into a family of wealth and means. There is a limitless supply of money and connections to help them achieve their purposes in life. Things just always are going their way.
This is YOU!
As a child of God, you are born into the greatest family in the history of the world. Your Father has everything (literally). The entire world is in the palm of His hand.
The problem for most of us is that we feel more like the wicked step children than the blessed children of God. It is time that you stepped up and claimed your inheritance.
1. Meet your Father. Everyday take time to talk with your Father AND to listen to what He has to say.
2. Engross yourself in the word and will of your Father. He has already written out how you can receive all of His blessings (and even what those blessings are -
Deuteronomy 28:1-14) so dig in and find out about your true inheritance.
3. Step out in obedience. Do what your Father says and do it when your Father says to do it. Partially obedience is full disobedience.
4. Believe in the blessings of your Father. For most people, if their earthly father came to them with a promise they would expect it. The same is more profoundly true for your spiritual Father. Look for the fulfillment of His promises.
5. Hold on to faith and joy. Refuse to allow circumstances to override the promises. Hold on to what you have learned from a personal relationship with your Father.
Take your place as a true child of God and you will find that your success truly is guaranteed.
May 3rd, 2008
Yesterday was a hard day. Besides being physically tired, my entire being felt completely beat down. It was time to quit (quit writing, quit cleaning and basically quit trying since I seemed to be moving backwards anyway). My normally positive side had definitely gone on vacation. Fortunately I was blessed that an IM friend was online during my bleakest moments. She coaxed me through without even trying.
Before calling it a night, I sent out emails for about a dozen possible jobs. I was determined to earn more for my efforts than the $2 so many online publishers want to pay. My IM friend and I departed ways determined to spend the next few days sending out queries as well.
I also decided to do a little positive reading before calling it a night. I started with scripture (I try to read one chapter of Proverbs before bed). I found it refreshing that I was starting back at the beginning of Proverbs on this particular night. I also read a part of a chapter in “Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.” I went to sleep determined to have a bright new morning.
Not only did the morning start bright and sunshiny, but my husband apparently caught the determination as well. He was up before me (if you know him then you know how shocked I was – I thought the house must be on fire for HIM to get up at that hour) and was out doing chores before the sun came over the mountain. That was the most positive reinforcement I could ever receive.
As for me, I’ve already received a response from one of the contacts last night. It pays more and is on a subject that I truly enjoy. The bible devotion that I receive every morning had the title “Break Through the Wall.” And my frustration over yesterday has flittered away. I am POSITIVE that I will break through. To quote a song I love, “You can mark my words, something is about to break.”
The point of all of this is that tomorrow really will get better. Giving up CAN NOT be an option. That is why it is so important to have a support system that can help carry you through to a new day. Join an online group, start a group in your home, but get people in your life that will help you do all that you desire to do.
May 1st, 2008
People who know me will attest to the fact that I’m not like most people. Being peculiar has always been one of my trade marks. Although I’m not exactly weird, I definitely skip to the beat of my own drum.
There will really no other way for me to turn out. I come from a family of unique and unusually people. My family has the odd-ball uncle or two (who has been known to wear Superman costumes and hang from chandeliers) and a few peculiar aunts as well. That doesn’t even delve in to the peculiar state of the cousins that fill the branches of the family tree.
Life is more interesting when there are some non-conformists in the group. They may not always make sense, but they do tend to keep things interesting. I get much of my peculiar instincts from watching and copying (in some shape or form) many of the odd family members I have encountered over the years.
I am growing my children up to be peculiar as well. We are avoiding the whole “hang from the ceiling” concept and striving for a more biblical form of peculiar. Our immediate family is focusing on treating others as we would WANT to be treated and seeking to do something good for someone else each day. We also try to smile at others. If you don’t think these few acts of kindness will make people stop and stare, try it a few times.
Being peculiar doesn’t mean you have to be strange (I think my family has the corner on that market anyway). The peculiar people that God desires in His family are those that seek to do His will every step of their day.
April 30th, 2008
IF I believed in conspiracies then I would think the cable company was out to drive me crazy. After several years of being told I was “unserviceable,” my hubby and I determined it was time to bite the bullet and become “serviceable.”
It cost an arm and a leg to get them to run cable to my house just so I could get high speed internet. The cable company would not foot the bill to run cable out to our farm (a mere mile from the main highway). They did allow us the privilege of paying for it, though.
Four months after I gave them a check for the process (which they stored in the company’s vault) the contractors were finally out here to run our cable. The twist was that THOSE contractors only ran the main line. It would be another day before the other contractors would come to actually connect to the house.
The next day was insane – the cable contractors refused to hook up the line because it was too far from the main drop. There is no way to CALL the office, so I had to make the 70 mile round trip to speak to them in person. Fortunately, the engineer was in the office at the time and he sent the contractors back out.
It has now been a full month, and my service has yet to work correctly. We’ve had three technicians out to our house. The last one left just about an hour ago. While the techs are here, the system works great. When the techs get out of the driveway, it slows right back down.
If I thought things like this were possible, I’d swear they go to the end of the drive and hit a switch that MAKES the internet run slower.
I had to call technical support again. This time she says it’s the modem that’s causing the problems. They are sending me out a new modem that will be here probably Tuesday. In the mean time, I just have to sit and wonder what’s really going on.
April 19th, 2008
Most people feel that rejection is bad. I’ve learned better. Rejection is the catalyst that makes me refocus and re-motivate my life goals. Rejection is the one thing that can make me take a firm look at where I am (and where I am headed) and give me the courage (or discouragement) to turn in the right direction.
Rejection is a good thing.
This is a new way of life for me. Growing up, I couldn’t stand rejection. I was apt to reject first just to avoid the hurt. Even more likely was not trying. Failure was just not an option.
Before I left for college, my high school sweet heart rejected me. If he had not, it is likely that I would never have gone so far away to school. I met people from all over the world at college. I made friendships that hold fast today. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I only experienced because of rejection.
While at college, I met a nice guy. He fit into my plans, so we made arrangements to get married. Exactly one month before the wedding, he rejected me. I was forced to re-examine what we had, where we were going and the why of it all. It was only after rejection that I discovered that as good as he was, he was not the great that I wanted for my life.
Rejection forced a change in my life.
Back in my home town, I reconnected with my high school sweet heart. We spent months being pals and friends. It was an amazing time. We were married on New Year’s Eve at the end of that year (and recently celebrated our 14 year anniversary).
As painful as it may feel at the time, rejection is a good thing. It makes you push yourself a little farther, see yourself a little better, or make yourself do a little more than you would otherwise accomplish. Rejection is the motivator that will help you climb to the pinnacle of your dreams.
Embrace rejection and then determine to rise above!
April 11th, 2008
A sure sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different. Every person that is alive today tends to be insane in some area of life. Work is the same, speck is the same, attitude is the same, eating is the same and yet there is an expectation of change.
I was there. I wanted change and even knew how to get change, but I was willing to change my way of doing things to get there. After all, did it REALLY matter all that much? If you truly want change in your life – from what ever or to where ever – there are some things that you must do.
1. If you want change in your life then you have to choose to change. It may be something small (like keeping negative words out of your mouth) or something big (like trading sodas for water) or something unexpected (like getting up at 4 am every morning). There is something that you know you need to be doing (or not doing) and you just haven’t been willing to go there. If you truly desire change then you MUST go there.
2. Breaking a bad habit means replacing it with a good one. I had the habit of eating in front of the television (especially when the kids would eat at Grandpa’s). By fixing meals and planning for the family (whether they show up or not) I am more consistent about eating at the table. It also helps if I turn OFF the television!
3. Change comes when you decide change will come. Think positively about your situation. If you have lost your job (or left unexpectedly) use the time to create the working environment that you have always desired. Thinking positively only requires that you find one good thing from the situation you are in at present.
4. Be excited. I worked for a man who made up repeat – with enthusiasm – “I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific” over and over again every day before we started work. If you fake the enthusiasm, you are likely to find that you stumble into the enthusiasm rather quickly. Do what you need to do with joy and excitement.
5. Make a plan, but follow through. You can lay out all the perfect schemes or ideas, but if you don’t take the first step then change will never find its way to your door step.
Change may not seem easy, but it sure is simple. You simply have to want to change, be willing to choose to change, and then step out towards change in order to make a difference in your life.
April 10th, 2008
Every morning our whole family puts on the Whole Armor of God. Even the two year old is learning the process (although he always wants to skip to the boots of the gospel of peace). We go through the process of pretending to physically put on the spiritual armor usually at the breakfast table (first thing in the morning most mornings).
I thought that was enough, until yesterday. It was only after a straining serious of events that my husband faced and the resulting attitudes and actions that spilled over on the rest of the family that I realized we were missing a vital piece of the Armor – one you have to find BETWEEN the lines of scripture.
Never leave the house if you aren’t covered with positivism. Positivism is like the oil poured of Jason to keep him from being burned by the bull (Jason and the Argonauts). Facing the world with a positive mind force will keep you from being burned by the circumstances that you are bound to encounter.
Positivism is the ability to look at a situation and find the one positive that you can hold on to. For many people, the fact that I was stuck on dialup while trying to earn a living online might seem like a negative, but I would NEVER have learned to balance my time as well otherwise. There is always a positive to what ever situation you might face. The key is finding it – no matter how small – and repeating it over and over again until it takes hold in your heart.
The Armor of God has saved my family on several occasions. I know that it is important that we make that early connection with God each morning – as a family and as individuals. Now I just have to help them find their own positivism and be sure that they leave the house fully coated every day.
April 8th, 2008
There are a lot of theories about how to be a good wife. Some are distorted interpretations of one religions doctrine or another. Some are tradition handed down for generations without any rhyme or reason (or for reasons that have long been forgotten). The best way to be a good wife is to be a good you.
1. Stop right now trying to change him. There is only one person you can change in the relationship and that is YOU. Work on making you the best you that you can be. Keep it “on the down-low.” You’re change should be obvious because of what he sees, hears and feels not because you show him how you are trying to change. A good wife does not nag (in the end it is just a waste of breath anyway).
2. Focus on you – when it comes to change. Being a good wife means that you have to work hard to correct negative patterns and habits in YOUR life (I was EXTREMELY sarcastic when I first got married – often to the point of hurting others. I have had to learn that words do hurt).
3. Focus on him – when it comes to needs and wants. If you will put others first (but not to the detriment of your health) with a joyful heart then you will see a drastic change in the world around you. Sometimes being a good wife means sacrificing a little of you for him (and them when children come along).
4. Support his dreams. If he wants to quit working a “real” job and start his own business then sit down and work out a plan with him that will give him that opportunity. He needs your support to be truly successful. There is a balance for a good wife between supporting dreams and discouraging foolishness and you have to learn to find that balance and approach the situation with tact. But every dream deserves a chance to live.
5. Speak positive things over his life. Every wife gets frustrated at times and that is understandable, but 99% of what you say about (and around) your husband should be good, positive and uplifting.
6. Being a wife is a job – think of it in that terms. Work hard to do what is expected of you in the relationship. Ask your husband to write down what he expects. You write down what you expect. Work out a list that you can both be happy about from day to day. Remember that everyone comes into marriage with different expectations and part of being a good wife is blending those expectations so that the two can become one.
7. A good wife will create a zone of safety and comfort in the home. Make it a noise free zone when the hubby first gets in. Have a project or activity set up for the kids so that they can get out of the house (or off to another room) after greeting dad.
8. Take pride in what you are doing. Being a good wife if one of the most valuable things a married woman can do. Stop making excuses for why things aren’t the way you want and start working right now to get them that way.
9. Find the joy in being a good wife. There are positive things to say about every job. Find your silver linings and focus on those when things get tough, mundane, or just tiring.
10. Value yourself – no matter what others might say or do. Remember that being a good wife will help you create a foundation for your marriage, your children’s future and your own well being. Forget the experts or the politically correct and look to your own heart to determine what being a good wife is all about.
Being a good wife is a growing process. It is not something that you fall into just because you say “I do.” Each day, each situation and each time you turn around you will find that being a good wife requires flexibility, compromise and change. Take the challenge and make your family’s future one that will keep you smiling.
April 4th, 2008
It is possible to live a positive life even with negative people all around you. It is POSSIBLE, but it ain’t easy!!!!
I live with several negative people around me every day. I see the half full glass and they see the need to buy milk at incredibly expensive prices and paying out the ear for gas to get there (the scary thing is that I’m NOT exaggerating).
It would be easy to fall down to their level. Finding the good and positive in situations (and especially in people) is not always the fun way to live. Choosing to nag, complain and basically pass out blame like Pez is a much easier path to take. At least it seems to be easier.
The truth is that positive people live healthier, happier and longer lives. That’s what I want for my children. So I choose to see the silver lining no matter what the grumblers and complainers may see. I choose to see the rainbow and admire the colors and not complain about the rain. I choose to see that our needs are met and not complain that we don’t have a million dollars in savings.
It has taken me years to work out a system, but I have developed ways to protect my positive attitude from the negative forces that often surround me.
1. Avoid negative news, movies and television shows. The attitudes you put into your eyes and your ears will fester in your heart and eventually come out of your mouth. Guard your mind!
2. Give up trying to make the people around you be positive. Live your life the way you know it should be lived (putting God first, putting others second, and then looking out for yourself as well). They will eventually come around or run away.
3. Find at least one positive outlet for your life (like this blog 
). You need to be recharged and lifted up or the negative forces will suck the life right out of you.
4. Make a decision to stay positive for the next hour – and keep doing it for every hour of the day. A little at a time does not seem like such a big hurdle.
5. Being positive does not mean being perky. It is okay to be upset about a situation or to even be sad (because of a loss or a pain). It is what you do with those emotions that make the biggest difference between a positive person and a negative person. Do you take out your emotions on the people around you or to you begin to look for things in your life that you are truly grateful to have?
It is all about choice. The life that I live and that I teach my kids can be the one that is healthy, happy and full of life or it can be one of clouds, complaints and darkness. It seems like a simple enough choice, but every day I watch as people around me choose the dark over the light.
March 26th, 2008
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