Archive for December, 2007
We have a mixed marriage – I am an optimist, my husband is half pessimist half pragmatist. I am a reforming clutter bug. My husband is obsessive about having no clutter (and just as insistent that everything is MINE that is “cluttering” up the house). I am a DIYer and my husband doesn’t even want to change the curtains himself. I come from a large family and my husband was an only child.
One main thing we both have in common is that we are as stubborn an all get out.
It’s not always easy to live together, but we have made the commitment and we are sticking to it. We both have changed over out fourteen year marriage, although I always feel like I’m the one who changes the most. There are days when it would be easier to walk away, but that stubborn streak makes us stay in and work it out.
Marriage is work. The best blessing I received growing up was the understanding that it’s not about feelings or emotions. Marriage is a covenant and that means you are in it for life – through the good and the bad (and on the bad days that all it’s going to feel like you’ve ever had).
There are a lot of other things I wish someone had brought up to me long before I got married. Two stand out more than any others.
1. Someone should have taught me how to clean a house. Thank goodness for Heloise, who published a book about what to clean and when. I discovered it in the library, and it helped me get on my way.
2. Someone should have explained that you live off just one income and bank the second one. That way you have money for buying a house or having kids.
Many things come to mind about overcoming differences and making a marriage work. No one could have told me all of them – no matter how much pre-marriage counseling we might have attended. The truth is that things are still coming up that we have to work around or through. As we both grow and change (sometimes together but usually at different rates) it causes conflicts and confusion that requires compromise and lots of patience.
Marriage is the ultimate test of my DIY skills. It is a project that requires constant refiguring, regular renovation, and the consideration of opinions outside my own. Meeting that challenge is something that I am looking forward to for the rest of my life.
December 10th, 2007
Cleaning has never been a priority in my life. My clothes were often separated by piles – (a) these need to be washed and (b) these have just been washed. My lack of organization almost drove my husband nuts in the beginning of our marriage. Now he says he’s just given up (or given in).
In the spirit of compromise, I have been working hard to become more clutter conscious. My mother-in-law was over the top, so I will never compare to that. Plus, there are three boys (and often a gaggle of guy friends) all running in and out of the house on a regular basis. It’s getting there, though. Now I can have guests over without needed a one week warning that they are coming!
1. Make a schedule. The things that have to be done weekly or monthly are charted out and hung for the whole world to see. It has gone through more changes and tweaking than I can remember, but what hangs there now works for our family most days. Mon – Thurs each has about three or four things that need to be done. On Friday, I tackle an entire room (organize, de-clutter, wash curtains, clean the ceiling fans, and re-arrange – mostly to annoy my husband). Saturday and Sunday are both kept empty. It’s free time for the family!
2. Enlist the family. Not only is there a chore chart for the weekly chores, but daily chores (sweeping, picking up, feeding the animals, even fixing meals) is divided among the whole family. The chores are printed out on individual cards and at the first of each month we take turns dividing them out. At least no one can come to me and ask, “What do I need to do?” Everyone wakes up knowing just what is expected.
3. Work as a team. The more we cooperate, the faster we get things done. It’s important that we all understand that the jobs aren’t about the individual, the jobs and chores are about keeping the home looking and feeling its best. It’s about good stewardship. Twice a day (first thing in the morning and just after dinner) we come together to knock out all the chores (personal and weekly). We make it a race against time to see how much we can do before the buzzer goes off.
4. Be consistent – especially in the beginning. It takes about 21 days of doing something every day in order to make it a habit. Challenge the family to do all of the chores for twenty one days – offer a prize at the end that everyone can enjoy. After that, strive for a consistent chore time so that each person knows what is expected of them and when it is expected.
5. Create a home for your things. The new rule in our home is if you want to keep something, you have to make a home (and that home can’t be stacked on top of something else or sitting on MY desk!). If it is found outside its home, it is subject to banishment.
6. Do one more things. Every night before I go to be, I look over my list of accomplishments for the day. I try to push my self to do just one more thing before I go to be. It’s amazing how much nicer the morning is when you wake up to a home that is clean and clutter free.
Fourteen years of marriage has slowly guided me to the place I am today. My home is still not perfect. There are days when nothing gets done – or at least it feels that way. There are mornings when I don’t want to get up because I know what I will face when I walk in the kitchen. There is still a lot of room for growing and maturing in my clutter free life. It’s getting there, though.
December 8th, 2007
Today is a very good day. I jumped right out of bed when the alarm clock went off (my husband’s that is. I didn’t even hear mine). My husband had the coffee maker already set, so coffee was magically waiting for me when I got up. The dishes were done and most of them put away, so I walked into a clean kitchen. Today would be a perfect day if there was just a fire crackling in the fireplace.
The amazing feat comes when you can keep the day good – all day. It’s easy to have a good day when you are the only one awake in the house (possibly in the neighborhood). Having a good day in the midst of normal life is where the magic comes in.
1. Take some time to be alone with God. The early morning (before dawn hours) is about as quiet and alone as you will ever see. In the end, you get to enjoy the sunrise.
2. Put together a plan. I have schedules and lists for everything we are going to do, should do, and could do. Even then, I get up most mornings (when there is a lot going on) and make a to-do list. That way it is all together in front of me and no one has to ask, “What do are we doing?” It’s all in black and white.
3. Plan a family breakfast. Even if it’s just cereal and fruit, make some time to be together before you face the world apart.
4. Have a quick devotional during or just after breakfast. That way everyone starts off on a positive note.
5. Go with the flow. If you can get all your to-do’s done then more power to you. Most of us have to make the list according to importance and hope we make it through the essentials. There is usually a forgotten practice, an unexpected visitor, or a change of plans (most likely instituted by a spouse who didn’t read the list). These are the times when you must breathe in and then breathe out slowly. Let it go! Just enjoy the times instead of trying to control them.
Every day starts off as a good day. Where, when, and if it goes wrong usually depends on your own attitude. More than once, I have made ornery children get back in their pajamas and get back in bed in order to start the day over. How you choose to see the day could be the difference between joy and existence.
December 7th, 2007
The recent recalls of what seems like every infant toy on the market has made some of us quite skittish about what to get the baby for Christmas. You don’t want to buy online because you want to flip the toy over and see where it was made. I’m looking for that great “Made in the USA” tag. Maybe this was all just a ruse to force me into the stores.
Thankfully, Susan (one of the twin sisters who run the greatest website for moms) has come up with an Incredible Prize Pack to be given away this Sunday. Not only would this fill all of my needs for this Christmas, but I would be able to share the wealth!
Besides being great for me, contests are also a great way for me to promote my blog. It gives me a link to a great site (take five minutes to swing by 5minutesformom.com) and it introduces my blog to many people who might not have a chance to see it. The last contest I entered brought 60 new visitors in one month, and it still driving traffic my direction.
Get into the game. You may not win the prize from the contest, but traffic can be a far greater prize in the end.
December 6th, 2007
The last twenty minutes have been wasted digging through papers to find a list I needed for an article. While my desk has been de-cluttered – to some extent – the paper still remains lost. This is just one more reason to stay organized. Clutter and chaos steal your time and for a freelancer time is money.
If you had seen my office space, my home, or even my life just a few short years ago then you would be amazed by the changes. Despite my fear of breaking out into song, it is a whole, new world. 
But it isn’t where it needs to be yet. If it was, I would know where that list was (and what I had written it on).
Ideally, I would have my own office space. Reality dictates that I only get the corner of the kitchen. Since my job requests are increasing daily and my two year old has taken to “working” with mom, I have to figure out a way to better utilize and organize my space.
1. Filing System. I do have one, but it could be better. Last week I made folders for due dates (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Weekly, Month end, Daily, Rush Job). I make a folder for the client and put it in the due date. Any correspondence should go directly in the folder.
a. Problem – I don’t have enough file cabinets. Boxes (if they are the right size) make great temporary file cabinets, but I still don’t have a place to put the boxes.
b. Problem – I have a bad habit of just sticking things in file folders and setting them in the storage bin next to the computer. That bin is over flowing and most of the stuff is completely foreign to me.
It’s time to purge and purge hard. Any of the books and items that I don’t use regularly has to go. Everything needs to be put away AND LABELED. Time to get rid of the bins I have sitting around. It’s just space waiting to be filled.
2. Space. I can only steal so much of the kitchen before my husband starts to complain. Instead, I need to get rid of some of the stuff taking up my shelf and drawer space and re-evaluate my needs.
3. Consistency. All the best laid plans won’t do me any good if I don’t use them. I had my filing system in place before I wrote that missing list that started all of this. I just didn’t put the list in its folder. Now I’m half an hour behind schedule and no closer to a solution. If I’m not going to follow through when I clean and organize then I’ll just be back to this point in a month (or less).
Most people think of organization as something that is over stated or just plain wrong. The truth is that organization can save you thousands of dollar each year, make your life run smoothly, and help you keep up with those lists that are so important.
Try a little organization in your life. You are sure to find that no only do you like it, but you have to have more.
December 5th, 2007
Writing has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I remember (and still own) my first story – “Snoopy and the Bananas” complete with illustrations. It was a simply a rewrite of the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” but it lit the fire.
High school did not improve my writing opportunities. Mostly, I just wrote in spiral notebooks – lots and lots of poems (I was a high school girl 
). A wise friend told me that I could never be a writer if I wasn’t willing to share. It was time to bare my soul.
It has taken me almost twenty years to accept what he told me that day in the library. I started small, but have slowly built up my opportunities to the point that I am writing full time. It’s not always what I want to write, but I’ll get there as well.
1. Practice – that means you have to write and write and then write some more.
2. Learn – take classes, join writer’s groups, got to seminars and learn new techniques, new words and new styles.
3. Stretch – go outside your comfort zone. If you only write fiction then offer to write an article for your church’s newsletter.
4. Ask – you will never get the job if you don’t ask for the job. Get the latest addition to the Writer’s Market (or subscribe online) and find places that accept what you write. Send out queries – the more you send the better you will get at writing them and the more likely you will start selling. Even more exciting, when you sell one it will be even easier to sell the next.
5. Look – there are writing opportunities every where and each one offers you a chance to expand your craft. The pay check may not be as big as someone like TIME magazine might pay, but the little jobs will add up and they could open the door to more jobs.
Like any public industry (acting, singing, performing) writing requires that you have a tough skin. Not everyone is going to love you but that means not everyone is going to hate you. The way I survive is to find the good even in the bad (I call them personal rejections – where the editor took the time to write a personalized letter) and use that to improve on my skills. And I press on. Without persistence, nothing worth doing will survive.
December 4th, 2007
The holidays will NOT overwhelm me this year. Money will not mysteriously float out the window. Time will not vanish at the blink of an eye. Everything will fit neatly into my plan and schedule (or else I’ll just ignore it until it goes away).
1. Start today planning and preparing holiday goodies for friends and neighbors. Freeze anything that might go bad before delivery day. Do one or two items a week. This way I’m NOT on my feet for 48 hours straight just before we make our Christmas Eve goody rounds.
2. Set a budget and stick to it. That includes food. I know that Thanksgiving cost $110 this year, so I’m planning on something similar for Christmas. The rest of my budget is for gifts, wrapping paper, and Christmas plates/trays (for the goodies).
3. Send out Christmas cards no later than Dec 10th. If I don’t make it by then, I’ll send Easter cards.
4. Start thank-you notes as soon as Christmas cards come in the mail, that way I am not overwhelmed when I write them and it is easier to make the them each more personal.
5. Clear out the clutter! Have the kids go through their toys to get rid of any they aren’t playing with anymore. This will make room for new stuff (or better yet it will just make room). It is also a good time to straighten the rooms that will be used most during the holidays. If you haven’t already decorated, then prepare the spaces where the tree and other decorations are going to be going. Get rid of any stacks that have accumulated and find everything a home (or throw it away).
6. Make a list and check it twice. Who am I buying gifts for this year? Who am I making gifts for this year? Who will be stopping by? Who do are we going to visit (and when)? What am I making? Do the gifts need batteries? The more lists you have, the less likely you are to forget something. The goal is to be through with the crowds a week before Christmas.
7. Pay your bills as they come in. Now is the time of year when it’s really easy to forget things. Stay ahead of the game and just pay early.
8. Wrap the gifts as you get them. Don’t wait until the last minute to do all that. Have a place where the wrapping paper can stay available but out of the way.
9. Enjoy the time – the lights, the music, and the holiday specials. Find the kid that use to experience these things and let her experience them again.
In the end, this holiday is going to happen the way it’s going to happen. Like everything else, all I can really do is plan for the best and be flexible for everything else.
December 3rd, 2007
Circumstances are usually the only reason we tighten our financial belt around here. This time is not exception. As I was digging deep into the budget to see where we could purge, I got a rude awakening. If we had just done this earlier, we would have been able to save enough money to build that nest egg we have always been talking about.
1. Turn off the cable. Even if you just do it for one year, you will be able to save around $50 per month (more for most people). If you HAVE to watch the game or that special show, make it a night with friends or family. Other wise, find some new interests besides the television. Totals saved in our family will be $600.
2. Stop eating out. Take the time to pack your lunch or pack a picnic if you have late practices or games. Fast food for a family adds up quickly. Doing it every week (or twice a week for most of us) will break your bank. Savings for our family will be $1000.
3. Make your own coffee. Stopping at the local coffee shop is more expensive than you might realize. At $3 a day, you could save $750 just drinking home brew.
4. Cut the cars – especially if you don’t need them. There was a time when having more than one car was important for our family, but not anymore. If we can bite the bullet and only have one car we will be able to save $1000 in insurance and $350 in car expenses.
5. Ditch the clothes. If you’ve never purchased clothes at a thrift store then you are truly missing our on an adventure. Even in our small town, the second hand shops offer great selections of quality cloths at incredible prices. Instead of spending $50 on a pair of jeans, stop by the second hand shop and get some for $5. The savings for our family is $550.
6. Make it from scratch. If you don’t know your way around the kitchen then it is high time you learned. Pre-made and pre-packaged meals will cost you 10 times what a scratch meal would cost. Another benefit of scratch cooking means you can double the recipe and give some away (instead of buying expensive gifts). Savings for our family is around $1200.
7. Shop in bulk – when you need it. I even buy children’s gifts in bulk through Oriental Trader. It means that I have gifts for unexpected parties or last minute projects (limit your self to one bin or shelf). I also use these gifts for treats when the kids are extra helpful. Savings for bulk buying is about $300.
8. Learn to freeze. IF you package food right you will be able to buy large quantities and use them through out the year. This is great when you stumble on a meat sale at your grocery store (or your neighbor, who hunts, offers you some of his kill). I have also discovered that many vegetables freeze great – for use in cooking. So does cheese and butter. I even freeze sandwich fillings (meat and cheese together) when I can find good deals on those items. Savings for our family is $500.
9. Turn down the heat/ turn up the air. These bills alone (especially during extreme weather) can be overwhelming. Saving just $10 per week (by adjusting by two degrees) will make a HUGE long term difference. Savings for our family $520.
10. Give the gift of creativity. When our money was so tight we couldn’t afford an idea, much less actual items, we gave our son a rope for his birthday. It was to be used to make a rope swing for him on his playground. Something we did together. Five years later, it is still being used. He has also used pieces to make several other swings in the same tree. All the great remote control cars and gadgets have been broken or discarded, but this $10 rope has lived a long and joyful life! Savings for out family is $300.
Saving money doesn’t have to be something you do during a crisis. If it becomes a way of life then you can do things that you would never have dreamed possible. What would you be able to do with $7,000 each year? Odds are pretty good that you already have that money available; you are just choosing to spend it in different ways.
Start today making choices that will give you and your family the life you have been dreaming about.
December 2nd, 2007
The holiday season bring lots of road travel for me and my family. Fortunately, I am one of those people that will enjoy the trip almost as much as I enjoy the destination. Whether it’s stopping at unique sites along the way or just entertaining all of us in the car, there are lots of things to do to pass the time.
Play a game
- The Alphabet Game – starting at the letter A you use the signs you are passing to uncover the alphabet. We play this one as a team and see home many times we can work through the alphabet in a limited amount of time.
- The Cow Game – in a nut shell, you count the cows on your side of the road. It’s great for back road trips, but probably not for interstate travel. The rules can be changed as you see fit, but the ones I grew up with were: cows – 1 point; horses – 10 points; mules and donkeys – 20 points; if you cross a river, everyone starts back at zero (because the cows can’t get across); if you spot a graveyard on your opponents side then he has to bury all his cows and start over at zero. My family has added one rule – 50 points for llamas, camels, buffalo, and all other non-barnyard animals.
- The License Plate Game – this is more of a running game for the whole trip and it’s another team game. You keep a list of all the state tags that you pass. The goal is to collect all the states by the end of the trip (in all of my years, I have never made it – but twice I have been just one away).
- Twenty Questions – this is not only fun, but it works the mind. One person thinks of an object and then the rest of the car has to try and guess (in just twenty “yes or no” questions) what the object is. Thing of 20Q before it was an electronic game.
Sing along – instead of everyone hiding behind earphones, find something to listen to that you can all agree on and sing out loud. This time of year, there are PLENTY of Christmas carols to get you where you are going.
Tell a tale – take turns telling tall tells or short stories. You might be inspired to write some of them down and make a fortune. Even if you don’t hit the literary jackpot, you will all have a few laughs.
If all else fails, let the kids watch a movie (as long as the DVD system allows for earphone attachments) and you and your spouse can enjoy the trip like you did when you first got married.
December 1st, 2007
My goal of being a full time writer is now within reach. I have met most of my objectives (picking up more online jobs, getting queries out, working on my novels, etc) but my blog is still a thorn in my side.
Writing the material is not the problem. Most days it motivates me to do more – it’s my writer’s block lucky charm. It’s the traffic situation that is hounding me. Every time I THINK I understand what I need to be doing, my traffic stays the same or even goes down. I haven’t been able to find that magic key. I’m beginning to believe it’s more like a magic bean.
Things I know:
· Blog what you know (passion)
· Comment on other blogs
· Visit (and be active) on forums
· Participate in blog carnivals
· Blog consistently
What I don’t know is what matters the most or what makes the real difference.
Like anything else, I need to know what I’m doing and when I’m doing it so that I can see the effect. Journaling is my favorite way to do that. I have a bird journal (where the family keeps track of all the birds we see, where, and when we put out feed), a gardening journal (to keep up with the last frost and first frost of each year, what we planted, what died, etc) and I have a personal journal.
Today I started my first blog journal. Every day this month I intend to try something new to increase my traffic. I’ll keep a record of the numbers so that I can see what is effective for me and what is not so effective. Posting will continue as usual, but I will note what subject I posted on, whether or not there were links, and if graphics were involved – I’ll also come back and list when I get comments on the posts.
This is doable. With persistence and ingenuity, anything is possible. I can break the code. Blogging can become a source of income in my life. “I know it can, I know it can, I know it can.”
December 1st, 2007
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