Archive for December, 2007
Just when I think I have taken all I can take, someone else comes along that has it far worse than I do and I realize I can take so much more than I have to.
It’s been a crazy week! First the water line broke on Christmas Eve – which meant we spent part of the holiday with no water and the rest with muddy water (until we could get the line cleared out). We FINALLY got all the dishes and laundry caught up.
Then there are the boxes – everywhere. Because we have such limited space, we have always stored in the attic. Instead of sticking all the empty boxes back up there (like we ALWAYS did in the past) they are just stacked in my bathroom. My new clutter resistant self is about to go into melt down.
So just to add to the insanity, we decided it was time to change the baby’s bed. Now I have crib parts all over the living room and not even a remote clue as to what I can do with them. It seemed the only thing I could do was mope –“my house is cluttered, I lost a writing job, there are boxes every where and in general I’m filling blue.”
I was enjoying my little pity party and then got an IM from a friend. Her pain was genuine compared to my petty grips. What a reality check. It reminded me that I’m tougher than I have needed to be and that I am more blessed than I was admitting.
December 29th, 2007
I am not where I am supposed to be, but at least I am not where I was.
Today, most people would refer to me as passive. If I am wronged, I will seek to correct it, but it will not steal my peace and joy. If I can’t resolve it then I trust that God will. It’s amazing how capable He is.
For me, submission is about doing what I know to do without expecting anything in return. Just the other day, my husband said he wished he felt like doing things around the house when he got home from work. My mind wanted to comment, but fortunately my spirit prevailed. I said nothing. My words can not change how he acts or what he does. If scripture tells us anything it’s that a nagging wife is unbearable. It may not seem like nagging to you, but believe me when I tell you he has a different perspective!
I am sweeping up, cleaning the sink, straightening my desk, all before I go to bed at night. Some days it is easier to do what I know to do despite or in spite of what my husband may or may not do. Some days I want to throw the broom at him. As I push ahead and try to live by example, all the while NOT expecting anything from anyone except my God, it gets a little easier.
Now that I know that I can do what I need to do, I intend to work on my consistency. It doesn’t matter how many times I say it or write it, it all comes back to me doing what I know to do and doing it consistently. It helps when I have accountability so I’m going to try something new. I’ll use the comment section to keep a running report of how I’m doing. It could be that telling on myself is all the encouragement I need.
December 28th, 2007
The Chaos is coming – the chaos is coming!
It officially begins today. We have my son’s birthday party this afternoon after which we will decorate the house, tomorrow is fairly light – except that I agreed to teach Sunday school to a bunch of 8 year old boys, and then Monday we have a family gathering (right in the middle of nap time) and then it’s Christmas.
In the mean time, I have all the cooking left to do and I have three deadlines and absolutely nothing is wrapped yet. It’s a good thing I plan ahead and start early or I might be in trouble.
To keep it interesting, I bought a new kitchen island (the one that can move around on casters) and spent most of yesterday morning completely re-arranging my kitchen. That means that today BEFORE the party I have to do something with my office.
The only good news is that my list isn’t as long as it would have been 5 years ago. We keep things fairly organized for the most part and that makes it easier to plan for the big events. A little tidying up and we should be good to go for round one.
The bad news is that I’m already tired of it all. I feel like I’m the only engine in the train and that everyone else is along for the ride. It’s not exactly motivation. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that I think I can when in the back of my mind I keep seeing everyone else doing nothing.
Ah! The holidays! 
Let’s go back to the good news – focusing on the good helps me to get my motivation up and running. I’m proud of where I have come in my home life, in my personal and spiritual growth and in my writing. Five years ago I would have stayed up all night cleaning because I would have HAD to just to get the house presentable. That’s a huge difference for someone who didn’t even know how to clean a house when she first got married.
The better news is that I think it seems like chaos because I’ve gotten the house, the kids, and myself on a regular schedule (not rigid though). Things have been so off this week that I couldn’t even decide what day it was when I woke up this morning.
I eventually got it all worked out and started tackling the tasks ahead. It’s too early to start cleaning (and the party isn’t until this afternoon) so my first task is to clear out some of my deadlines. When the house starts to stir (and while I’m waiting for downloads) I’ll do some of the cleaning and straightening.
Looking around the house, maybe it isn’t chaos that is coming (despite how it feels some moments). It’s more like the train is speeding up and this little engine is just hoping to keep up. In the end, if everyone enjoys each others company (and the food flows freely) then it will be a good time. All I can do is what I can do and the rest will just have to get off the tracks!
December 22nd, 2007
Writing can be a tough gig. When your muse packs up and takes a vacation, finding inspiration can be almost impossible. Whether you are writing fiction in any genre or tackling an order for 20 how-to articles, the idea for the story may already be right before your eyes.
1. Look at your business cards – the ones you receive from other people. Do you remember the encounter? What were the people or the event like? You could write about how to be success at a business conference or a mystery about a murder at the conference. Just let your imagination take off and there is no telling where you might go.
2. Talk to your children. They can regularly be a source of inspiration (good, bad, and ugly). If you don’t have any of your own then seek out a neighbor’s or relative’s. Kids aren’t limited to reality the way grown-ups are. If you can learn to see through the eyes of the child then a world of possibilities will open up.
3. Ease drop. Go to the local diner (or courthouse) and take a seat. If you leave there uninspired then I’m not sure you can be helped until your muse comes home.
4. Go to a community meeting. The local council meeting or political rally is sure to be primed with energy. That alone should get the gears to turning. If not, then revert to #3.
5. Read your past journals. Most writers I know have kept a journal since before there was time. Reading things that you wrote from twenty or more years ago should give you some great ideas (not to mention a few good chuckles).
6. Make an outline. If you can’t get your mind around the complete idea at the moment, then make an outline of a story. Use the outline to form a query and send it out to some magazines. When it is accepted, your muse will have come home and the piece will practically write itself 
.
7. Twist the truth. The news papers and the news can be a great source for writing (just look at the Law & Order series). Use a piece of the truth to start your next novel or to answer the question of how to solve a particular problem.
8. Look to your family. A quick search through your personal genealogy might reveal some amazing characters (or if you are like me it only takes a look around the table at Christmas). Use the history of your family to start the beginning of your story (but change the names of the characters to protect the innocent – or at least yourself).
9. Go through the photo album. A trip years ago could spark a great travel article or a wedding photo could give you the how-to idea you’ve needed.
When the ideas aren’t coming to the front of your mind on their own then you just have to go digging for them. The creativity is already there. It just takes something to jump start the process some days. It doesn’t matter how you get the juices flowing as long AS you get them flowing. Once that happens – just write!
December 21st, 2007
How I feel is no reason for not doing what I know to do. It IS an excuse, but those are a dime a dozen and don’t really mean anything. The truth is that if I’ll just do what I know to do then it usually over comes my feelings anyway.
I’ve challenged my family (veiled attempt at challenging my husband) to follow the chore chart for 21 days in a row. According to some expert I read somewhere, if you do something for 21 days then it becomes a habit. I figure if I can get my whole clan to do the chores on the list everyday for 21 days then I won’t have to nag them any more.
Times like that (when I put them in print) help me see just how delusional I am.
Delusional or not, I’m still going to attempt to form some kind of consistency in my family.
1. Use a timer to clock the chore time. A specific amount of time at a specific point in the day with the challenge to do as much as you can in that time – EVERYONE participates (which means mom will have to quit writing!).
2. Focus on baby steps. Instead of pushing them for the 21 days, we can start at just one day. After a week of getting a “treat” for consistently doing it each day we will move it out to a week (and a bigger treat). After a couple of weeks of being consistent with the week then we will move it to a month (that’s even MORE than what “they” say sets a good habit).
3. Be an example. It doesn’t motivate anyone when I sit at the computer working while yelling at them through the house. I need to pick up a broom or mop or rag and get to work. If I am will to work and make it fun then the kids will jump on in. It’s the dictatorship that they rebel against.
4. Reality has to come into the picture. We live in the woods (dirt and sand seem to jump right through any open door). We have pets (pet fur wads together under a standing piece of furniture in the attempt at creating new animals. It doesn’t matter how often you sweep, the fur will find each other). We have kids (do I really have to explain?). The house will never be prefect for more than a few minutes (unless the kids are away). It is lived in and will show it, but that is okay.
Our family can reach a place of consistency. We are already on the way (we just don’t do EVERYTHING consistently). By this time next year, the house will be lived-in clean, clutter free, and ready for company at the drop of a hat!
See – I really am delusional.
December 20th, 2007
There are days when I wake up ready to take on the world. My sink is clean and the coffee is already brewing. Then the distractions start – usually something small to begin with – and before I know it the day is gone and I have accomplished nothing!
Today is one of those that have started out with a great trumpet blast. I am willing, eager and able. This time I caught the distraction before it had a chance to take over my day!
1. Games. Since I’m on dial up, down loading anything (even just opening email) can take forever. It’s easy to just click on solitaire and play a quick game while I’m waiting for something to load. But then I usually end up playing just a little longer than needed – a distraction – and before I know it I’ve forgotten what I was doing in the first place. Today I am challenging myself to NOT play any games and to do something beneficial while I wait.
2. Television. I always start out just watching a little while I eat my lunch or take a break. It almost never fails that I end up flipping channels until the cows come home (or in my case, the kids). And the worst thing is that there is really nothing on right now – except for Christmas specials later in the evening. Today I am determined that I won’t turn the television on even for a little break. Instead, I’ll go read by the fire.
3. Clutter. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing you have something but not being able to find it in all the piles on your desk. Recently, I lost an assignment (and had to request the information a second time – how professional) just before deadline. Today I will put things in their homes as soon as I am done with them (yes, this does mean I actually have to file what needs to be filed).
4. Phone. The words will be flowing like a spring thaw and then the phone rings. I’m always compelled to answer – after all it COULD be important. It never is. Instead, I spend five minutes talking about nothing and then my stream is all dried up (so I take a break and watch a little television). Today I will NOT answer the phone.
5. Family. Working at home is wonderful because I have my kids around all the time. At the same time, working at home is difficult and overwhelming because I have the kids around all the time. Today I will work in the morning before everyone else is awake and then make time again after lunch – free from the delightful interruptions of wrestling siblings.
6. Errands. The entire days seems to be eaten up by a quick run to the store. Partly because you have to unpack and put things away when you get back (which reminds you that you were going to chop those vegetables for the freezer and put those pots in the other cabinet and throw out the food from Thanksgiving and . . .). Today I will set aside a time for errands (before lunch) and limit the “ands” when I walk back in the door.
7. Disorganization. The word organization wasn’t even in my vocabulary a few years back. I was queen of “fly by the seat of your pants.” Maps – who needed them, you could eventually find your way anywhere if you stopped for directions often enough. Plans – forget that because they would just get rearranged when you stopped for directions! Then I got married – to an obsessive freak! (Just don’t tell the hubby I called him that). To add to the chaos, we started having kids. It was organize or surrender. Since I am more stubborn than I am “fly by the seat,” I began to organize. What I have discovered is that without a plan – you won’t ever accomplish what you desire to do. Today I am going to lay out a “business” plan for my writing, for my home, and for my family (with there help).
8. Finances. It would be nice if we were all independently wealthy and money was something we could use for fuel on the fire (but just the small bills of course). Most of us aren’t and for most of us the money is the thing that holds us back or locks into where we are. Instead of letting your finances control your life, you have to learn how to control your finances. Today I will set a new budget that will help us find the freedom we have desired as a family to do the things that we are planning to do.
9. Skills or talents. Basketball was never going to be a way of life for me. I’m only 5 feet tall. My skills and talents were more on the people and communication side. I could have spent all of my energy trying to be what I wasn’t because “sports” was a good path or I could choose the route I’m on. Today I will make a list of my skills and talents and gifts and use those in my plan.
10. Fear. I could have been a contender in many things in my life, but the fear of failure or being embarrassed or what others might have to say kept me from even trying. The truth is I might COULD have gone somewhere in basketball (my brother is only 5’6” and he got a full college scholarship in basketball) if I hadn’t been afraid of working hard and doing my best. Today I will begin the process of pushing fear behind and stepping out on the faith that is starting to build up inside me.
Success is something that won’t come if you don’t try. The more you try the more likely you are to succeed. To get there, you can’t let anything stand in your way – and the biggest obstacle ever to be faced is self. Today, I refuse to let myself defeat my success!
December 20th, 2007
There is only one thing I want for Christmas this year and that is to finally figure out how to make money off of MY blog without compromising my integrity. Do you think Santa is internet savvy enough to grant me this wish?
It’s been a year now and I’ve still not made any money. I’ve stayed away from Adsense and other programs like it. I’ve been patiently waiting for the advertisers to swarm my site and beg for space instead. There hasn’t been nibble one.
My numbers have steadily increased – at least I believe they have. I look at my awstats and if I’m reading the figures right then some of you are reading this article right now. That feels good. And it is really exciting and satisfying when someone finds something that helps them in their daily life.
It does not make my site the next Problogger site.
I’ve researched and read the articles about increasing traffic. I know that you need to:
1. Post regularly
2. Comment on other blogs and forums (and use a signature to link back to your site)
3. Make connections
4. Be personal (but not TOO personal – this is the internet)
5. Be consistent
6. Be specific
7. Advertise (use stumbleupon, technorati, article sites and blog carnivals) to build interest in your blog.
8. Be courteous (send emails to those who comment or visit regularly)
9. Use correct grammar (and spelling – Thanks Mara)
This month I started keeping a journal of what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. Maybe it will give me insight into how to make this site all that it can be. I have noticed a few trends. My blogging and writing articles get more view time than any thing else I post. Hmmmm – could that be the key? Should I be giving people what they are looking for even if it is a saturated market already?
Maybe if I tailored the site for MOMs that write (although any writer could benefit from most of it). I might have to change the name and the megatags to reflect the new format, but it just might be that I need change to get where I want to be – EASY STREET!
December 19th, 2007
Yesterday I had this conversation:
“Hello, this is Kathryn.”
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Working.”
“I didn’t know you worked.”
“Well, I’m a writer.”
“I knew you did that, but I didn’t know you, like, went to a real job.”
The most amazing thing about this conversation is that it is not the first time I have had it. Very few people understand that what I’m doing is a full time job. I have deadlines that have to be met. There is research that requires time and concentration. And please, please don’t interrupt that train of thought.
There is little I can do in my own home to restrict access while I’m working. My “office” is smack in the middle of the house (in the corner of the kitchen). I’m hoping that there may be a few things I can do to help reduce the interruptions.
1. I’m going to make a sign: Mommy is out while Kathryn works. Please check back in a few minutes or leave a message. I’ll even add a little message pad and pencil.
2. There has to be a way to record a message on my phone for those times when I’m working. “This is Kathryn. I am caught in the middle of a special project and can not take your call. Please leave your message and I will get back to you as quickly as possible. If this is an emergency then call the hubby.”
3. If everyone knew my normal working hours then they might try calling at other times. I could send out some cards to friends and family – like birth announcements. “Kathryn is pleased to announce that she is a full time writer – getting paid for her endeavor. The hours between 10 – 2 are the best times for the magic to work. Please respect her crafts and LEAVE HER ALONE.”
4. Since morning is the best time for my mind (and the peace and quiet needed to keep the rhythm flowing), maybe I should start clocking in earlier. I figure if I start at 3 then I could be done with most of my assignments before the chaos ensues.
The reality of working at home is that you are more convenient (which is probably one of the reasons you chose this path in the first place). The kids can get to you, the spouse can get to you, and most everyone who has every met you knows that you are at home. It may not be possible to change every mind that I encounter, but I’m going to begin the process of changing at least a few.
December 19th, 2007
Writers aren’t as peculiar as most people make us out to be – okay, we are peculiar. But we are also like every one else in the world (even if it is only mildly). There are days when we just don’t want to do what we need to do. Maybe our bodies are determined to write, but our minds have packed up and left the building.
This morning was one of those times when I just couldn’t seem to make a sentence – even for a blog. I tried three or four times and just kept deleting what I was writing. The idea of giving up altogether was looking like the only route to go. Instead of quitting, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes – then I took a break.
1. I read some emails and responded to them. It’s not unusual for a few comments from a close friend to jump start a memory and fire up the creative muse.
2. I made a few lists. Writing out things I need to do for the day or for the week often get my mind to formulate HOW to do them. Once the gears start turning, it is only a matter of putting it down in full sentences.
3. I looked at other’s writings. Sometimes its blogs online and sometimes it’s a how to book that has caught my eye. I have even been known to glance at a magazine or two. The goal is to distract the mind from thinking it has to write.
4. I visited the past. Reviewing what I have written in my own blog has inspired more than one additional entry. The great thing is I can backlink to that inspiration article (so that new visitors can find some material they might otherwise miss).
5. I just wrote. When I have distracted myself for a few minutes, then it is time to give it another go.
Writing is like riding a bike. If you haven’t done it in a while (like since you went to sleep) then you might be a bit wobbly at first. You could even fall off a few times. But if you keep getting back on and trying again, eventually you will be cruising around like a pro.
December 18th, 2007
Our hundred dollar holiday is working out okay. We went beyond just one hundred dollars, but I knew that with groceries it probably would. Still, we will make it in under $300 for everything this year.
Wow! I still feel like I’m not giving enough, even though each child has a nice gift and some things for their stockings. I LOVE to give presents, and I feel like I’m getting gypped as much as anyone. Still, I can’t help but wonder if there will be disappointment on the faces come Christmas morning (even if we did all agree this was the route to go). It’s just guilt trying to make me spend more and I’m not falling for it.
Instead of focusing on what they won’t be getting, I’m going to expand what they will be getting. Everyone will get a certificate for one full day of “your choice” (to be cashed in on your next birthday). The certificate allows them to decide what we eat (or where) and what we do for the whole day.
Since business cards are becoming the rage in this communication focused world, I think I’ll make a batch for everyone. The kids can give them to their friends so they can set up a play day and the hubby will have something to give out when he runs into business opportunities.
How about a coupon book? The kids could have things like “cereal for dinner night” or “get out of school for the day.” Hubby could have things like “boys night out – no questions asked” or “free day.”
Okay, now I’m starting to get a little more excited about this hundred dollar holiday.
I do most of the decorations. What if I hide special gifts in the decorations? Maybe I’ll hide some $ or certificate for a shopping spree (at the dollar store of course). Then I could leave a hint each morning on the breakfast table or in the school work.
There are bound to be hundreds of ways to celebrate the holidays without breaking the bank. The more we do this as a family then the easier it is going to get. The more creative ways I find to fill the stockings and share the giving spirit, the better I’m going to feel. It may take more time, but I think this is going to be the beginning of a Christmas tradition that will carry through the generations.
December 18th, 2007
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