Archive for July, 2007
I’m disillusioned, disappointed, or else just plain disgusted. I haven’t quite worked out the semantics yet. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not happy with our current organized religious situation.
Maybe it is the unpleasant experiences I’ve had in the past that are hindering my ability to see the here and now. Maybe it’s the hypocrisy I see in the pews and in the pulpit that are coloring my view point. Maybe it’s God stirring up a desire in me to go and do and be. Maybe it’s just that I didn’t get enough sleep Saturday night.
My family and I have attended the formal ceremonies of the Episcopal Church, and we enjoyed bits and pieces. We have been a part of the Pentecostal movement and have found parts that were exactly what was needed and expected. All the denominations and experiences in between have been a part of our family Sundays. Where ever we go, there is always a sense that something is missing or just not quite right.
When I was a child, I attended a small Episcopal church. When you walked through the doors, the sense of warmth and peace hugged you. Outside the doors, that same feeling followed you around. The people who attended the church were a family, a community, a “group of one.” This body stayed connected with visits to each others homes, outings together, phone calls, and letters – all outside the “church” functions.
Today the world is too hectic to stay attached. No one wants to commit to the people around them. They’ll commit to a tithe and regular services, but once the service is over don’t be standing in the doorway or you might get trampled.
I’m hoping that it is just me. God is doing something in my life and my family that requires us to see beyond the building. Unfortunately I suspect that the reality is the church – every denomination and every corner of the country – is missing it. They have taken the plan that Christ laid out – the church body coming together to lift up and support one another – and made it into a set of rules.
There is a place where the biblical reality of church still exists, and I am determined to find that home.
July 16th, 2007
There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done. I can start out with all of the good intentions – usually I get breakfast and maybe lunch done – but sooner or later the sky starts falling.
I’ve decided that it is partly do me getting up before sunrise. By 3 o’clock, I just want to nap. Starting dinner is not something I even let slip into my brain. My daydreams include my husband calling to say, “Don’t worry about cooking anything, I’m bringing dinner home with me.”
That doesn’t happen very often. So I have learned a few tricks to make cooking dinner a breeze.
1. Take one day and prepare pieces of meals (like brown the ground beef, chopping vegetables, baking a few chickens). Make sure the finished products are separated out into manageable amounts (I use the quart size freezer bags) and then freeze them. It’s easy to grab a pound of precooked ground beef, add some taco seasoning and water, and have tacos ready in under 15 minutes.
2. When you do go all out and cook, make two entrées. If you are cooking meatloaf, then make two. Freeze the second one whole, or even better you can slice it into servings and freeze it that way. The Glad Press’n Seal products are great for this. (It’s also nice to have these meals prepared incase you need to take dinner to a friend).
3. When you freeze uncooked meats (like chicken breasts or hamburger patties) make sure you separate them out individually. This way you only have to defrost what you actually need.
4. Crock pots are great for cooking a meal when you aren’t at home. I’ve always used mine for the traditional stew or pot roast, but recently found it is great for all kinds of dishes. There is nothing better than throwing a few ingredients into a pot – no fuss or mess – and then walking away. When we get back from a day of field trips, the meal is ready. (There are even great dessert recipes for crock pot cooking). Clean up is a breeze if you have some of the crock pot liners that are now sold in grocery stores.
*HINT*
Be sure you turn the crock pot on, or the meal won’t cook (speaking from experience here).
5. Share with friends. You could get together at a local church or community center and have a day of cooking. Every one could bring ingredients (enough for three or four of their favorite casserole or meal) and then you could cook them and package them as a group. This not only feels your freezer with easy to fix meals, but gives you a great variety as well.
6. One of my favorite quick fix dinners is breakfast. It’s also a treat for the kids to get pancakes or cream of wheat or cereal for dinner. Omelets can be made practically mess free by using plastic quart bags. I saw this one on the Food Network, and I loved it.
7. Don’t forget your leftovers. Just the other day I cut up some of the chicken from the 4th of July, set on some precooked pasta, covered it in spaghetti sauce and cheese, and cooked it at 325 degrees until the cheese was bubbling. A whole new meal with little fuss or mess.
Cooking doesn’t have to be a huge chore. The clean up AFTER cooking doesn’t have to be a nightmare. As I researched ideas for this article, and scoured my brain for experiences, I was amazed at how many of us are trying to save time and money. What are your favorite meal time tips?
This article is being featured in a blog carnival for families. Stop by and let them know what a great job they are doing.
July 13th, 2007
I think there is a hole in my bank account. Every month my job says the check goes to the bank. The bank statement even shows the deposit. But the balance sure doesn’t reflect the concept that I am earning anything.
I’d like to say it’s just “the man” keeping me down. In reality, it’s the little splurges on fast food, sodas when I gas up, or a new blouse that is keeping the balance down. There is no one to blame in this mess but myself.
When the reality finally set in – that I was spending more than I earned – I decided it was time to do something about it. I tried the “save a penny” routine where I put all my change in a jar. Instead of saving, I ended up rolling it and cashing it in to pay a bill here and there. I tried going the “cash only” route, but if my tab happened to “runneth over” I used the debit card. Now I had the purchase and the cash withdrawal to dent my account.
I was missing the magic beans. Fortunately for me, I found them before the creditors came to repossess the kids.
There are two things you have to have to make ends meet (after a job that is). There must be discipline and diligence in keeping up with the finances. I lacked both. As soon as I put a realistic budget on paper AND I actually stuck with it, my finances took a swing towards the black.
1. Cook instead of eating out. Use the slow cooker so that you have a meal ready at the end of the day.
2. Pack lunches and snacks for work or school. Saving just $3 a day will give you well over $500 at the end of the school year.
3. Freeze food. When I find a buy on meat, I bring it home and package it immediately into individual freezer bags. Some fresh fruits and vegetables are also great choices for the freezer treatment – onions, celery, carrots, and mushrooms can all be chopped and frozen for convenient use later. Blueberries, blackberries, and even strawberries are all good for freezing. Frozen food will last longer than fresh and you are less likely to end up just throwing it away.
4. Keep a list of what you have in your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. This keeps you from over-buying at the store, but also reminds you to use the items you already have in stock.
5. Combine errands. The less driving you do, the less gas you use. If you have to take the kids to ball practice, then go to the store while they are there. Swing back by the field on your way home – two birds with one stone, so to speak.
6. Turn up the air or turn down the heat. Just two degrees can save you lots on your electric bill.
7. Give up some of the luxuries. Do you NEED a pedicure or manicure? Do you NEED the gourmet coffee? Do you NEED the brand new car (or boat, or four wheeler)?
8. If you must have clothes (for work specifically or maybe some special need) then consider waiting for sales or shopping at a thrift store. This is especially great for kids’ clothes, since they seem to grow out of the new pants before you can get them home from the store.
Finding a balance in my checking account required balancing my life. It wasn’t easy to cut back on the treats, to cook instead of eating out, or to wear the same sweater for a second season. The little that I saved here and there slowly began to pay off. I’d like to say that all the debt is gone and accounts are busting at the seams, but at least they do have a positive balance. Either way, I’m back in control.
July 12th, 2007
My muse is dancing.
For those of you who write, or are artists of some sort, you probably know what I’m talking about. The ideas are spinning around in my head and it’s hard for me to stay focused. I have to latch on to one idea, get a piece of it out and then move on to another idea, or else I will continue to just stand here dazed and confused.
This time it is happening when it is suppose to – the time I’ve set aside to be working and writing. It tried to happen last night, just as I was getting into bed. I made myself turn off the lights and close my eyes when all I really wanted to do was grab a pencil and some paper. I wanted to write, but I managed to sleep, although the dreams dominated the night and where outrageous.
Writing as a profession is not easy. It requires more discipline than I ever imagined. It is so much easier to do nothing than it is to do what I know to do. There are some tricks I am learning to help me keep on keeping on.
1. Make a to-do list and actually do what’s on that list. So many times, I’ve made a list of what I wanted to accomplish for the day or the week or the month. Then I put it in the desk drawer and forget it is even there. So much for being organized.
The only way a list is going to help stay on track is if I use it. Now I keep my schedule, to-do list, or any other organizational tool tacked up where I have to look at it through out the day. It’s much easier to stay focused that way.
2. Write down your ideas when you have them. It doesn’t have to be a full article. I’ve started breaking down a five or six step outline. This helps me form query letters and write the full article when the time comes. It also frees up my mind to think of other things without worrying about losing that perfect story.
It’s important that you always have paper and pen handy. I keep a small notepad in my purse, one in the car, one next to the bed, and one in the bathroom. No matter what the situation, I can take three minutes to jot down a few sentences to help me find my place in the idea.
3. Don’t put it off. Most of the time, if I’ll sit down and start writing something, anything, I find that I am in the mood to write. It’s easy to make excuses NOT to write. It’s much harder to find reasons to get it done.
One of the secrets I’ve heard many successful writers say they use is to have a designated time to write. This is a great concept, but as a homeschool mother of three boys, it’s not always a reality at my home. I have learned to be flexible with me writing time, and to take advantage of quite moments in the home to knock out an article or query or two. Following steps one and two have helped tremendously.
4. Set some goals and give your self and incentive to reach them. Have you wanted a laptop for a life time? Set a goal to get a certain number of jobs or to sell a certain number of articles. Use the proceeds to buy yourself the laptop you’ve always wanted.
Not only do you need goals, but you need a plan to get there. Write out steps you will take to reach the goals, a time when you intend to reach them, and include your steps in your schedule or daily to-do list.
Artists are known for being flighty. I think it’s because there are so many ideas spinning around our heads that sometimes its hard to just stand up straight much less act normal. (Not that I would ever suggest that I am normal). The key to breaking through the dilemma of being a working writer is to balance the creativity with organization. It won’t kill the muse, it will only free it up to dance some more.
This article is being featured in a blog carnival for Christian writers. Stop in and see what is exciting this week.
July 11th, 2007
It was all just a lie – probably started by some man – that no one ever stopped to investigate. Maybe lie is too harsh. It was a myth – myth, myth . . . “yes” – that has finally been put to sleep.
When it comes to talking it turns out that the number of words men and women use each day is about the same. The idea that women needed to use 20,000 words and men needed only 7,000 words was only a myth. There was no scientific data behind the numbers.
Now there is. Researchers are beginning to record conversations to try and determine the number of words people actually use. It turns out that the difference between men and women is only a few hundred words.
I heard the old number in a study we did in Sunday school (Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spagetti). Unfortunately, my husband was paying close attention that day. When ever things get too hectic or his day has been too long, he tells me he has used up his words for the day and crawls into a shell.
Today, the winds of change are blowing - even if the hubby is ducking and covering. The local paper had an article on the front page that discussed the study of the number of words men and women use. I brought it up to my husband, but he conveniently wasn’t paying attention today.
It’s good to know that we aren’t as different as “they” want to make us out to be. It’s better to know that we can’t use statistics or anything else to make excuses for out attitudes and behavior. It’s best to know where the information came from that you are staking your decisions on.
July 10th, 2007
My husband was trying to fix something and the baby kept climbing on his lap. “See, this is why I couldn’t work at home. I would need a space somewhere away from it all.”
What a wonderful luxury that would be – to be able to work away from it all instead of in the midst of the chaos. The flaw in the idea is that I work at home so my children have a parent with them. If I worked somewhere else, I might as well get a job.
There are ways to balance home and work. Sometimes it requires creativity, sometimes it requires cooperation, but always it requires a sense of peace and flexibility.
1. Get up early. Getting up an hour or two early than the rest of the house lets me have creative time alone. Not only am I free from the kids, but I am free from the neighbors and relatives that don’t get that I’m actually working.
2. Stay up late. Grab another hour or two after the children go to bed. This may mean turning off the television, but it is worth it. Save the television for special times instead of all the time.
3. Save the mundane for when the children are up. Wait to check on your web stats or emails until the action has started. You will be able to multi-task easier if you don’t have to focus as hard.
4. Encourage the whole family to help out. Set aside thirty minutes or an hour (or what ever you think you need) to do chores around the house. Let the kids (and the hubby) help out. Assign tasks – if you want – or make a list and let everyone choose. If you work as a team, it will be done in a flash.
5. Don’t stress if things don’t go as planned. There are going to be days that the kids get up early or there are unexpected errands. Instead of having a panic attack, let some of your list go. Don’t update your blog that day. Don’t mail in the query. Give your self a break, and your family will thank you for it. The important thing is to work for a consistency but to plan time for the unplanned. (There’s nothing to it, right?)
6. Do make a plan of attack. You WILL forget what you wanted to do if you don’t make a list. I have a schedule that I want to try to follow and I have a list of things that I want to get done for the day. I can look at the schedule to see if I’m on time or what area I need to do next. I can look at my list to see what goals I want to accomplish.
a. Chores
b. Phone calls and emails
c. Letters
d. Writing (personal – creative)
e. Writing jobs
f. Blogs
g. Errands
7. Do make connections with like people. Other work-at-home types will be more sympathetic to your situation. Find a support group online, or start a club that can meet once or twice a month. They will be able to help you in your times of crisis and will be the encouragement that will keep you going when you want to give up.
Being a work-at-home-parent is no small task. It is a balancing act on the good days and a tornado on the bad days. Following these few, easy tips will help the good days out weigh the bad days and get you on the way to a successful business.
This article is being featured on a carnival focused on WAHMs and WAHDs.
July 10th, 2007
CRASH!
The sound told the story without my even having to look. My grandmother’s antique candlestick had fallen off the mantle on to the rock fireplace below. Glass hitting rock is never a good situation.
My immediate response was to kill my cat (the culprit in the situation). She was sitting on the rock - frozen - imitating innocence with all her might.
“Cat!” I heard the noise escape from my mouth. Frantically, I searched for a weapon to rid me of the menace mimicking me from the chair. As soon as I turned my head, she was gone.
Instead of chasing down the cat, I found myself kneeling by the shards of glass. The pieces were so small and there were so many. Repair was not going to be an option. The sigh was deep as the memory of the day my grandmother gave me the gift washed over me.
“Can you fix it mom?” My two young boys had been summoned by the commotion.
“I don’t think so.” The tears were beginning to escape the hold I had on them.
“Cat!” This time the noise was from the mouth of my son. Apparently he had the same intentions that I had earlier.
“Leave her alone.” The soft calm of my voice surprised even me. My son turned and looked at me.
“But, your candlestick.”
I pulled him to me and looked him directly in the eyes. Brushing back the runaway twig of hair from his face I found myself saying, “Did you know that candlestick was the last gift my grandmother gave me before she died?”
His gentle heart brought tears to his own eyes that matched mine, but the man in him struggled to hold the tears back. He just nodded.
“Where is my grandmother now?” A soft smile had found its way to my face.
“She’s with Jesus.” He rubbed his eyes with both fists.
“Do you think that breaking this candlestick has changed that?”
He shook his head.
Looking back down at the shattered candlestick hurt, but it was, after all, only a candlestick. “Honey, its just stuff. The real value lies in my memories, and my memories remain intact.”
Sometimes in the hectic life we lead we forget the value of people, memories, and love. The material possessions seem to take up all of our time and energy. The next time the kids break a vase, the husband knocks over a lamp, or the cat ruins a prices heirloom, try to remember where the real value lies.
July 7th, 2007
I am a good wife, in my mind anyway. I want to do the things that will push me to the head of the class. I want to cook three meals a day, keep the house spick and span, and entertain. It just seems that my wants have a hard time keeping up with reality.
There are those weeks that I make it for several days doing every thing that I know to do – and doing it when I know to do it. Then I hit that “bad” day when I can’t get anyone or anything to cooperate. Those are the days I find myself calling the hubby on his way home. “Could you pick up some supper?”
Defeated and deflated, it can take me days or weeks to get back on track. Does a good wife every find herself pondering the idea “what about me?” Or am I the only one out there who selfishly wants to focus on me and me alone?
I refuse to give up. I know that being a good wife is not just a pipe dream. It is something that is attainable. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is not the answer. I need to keep changing. Molding and tweaking the way I do things will help me find the path I need to take.
1. I will continue to make a schedule, but I will change the details each month until I find one that fits the pattern and life of my family.
2. I will continue to make a list of things that need to be done, but I will be willing to let things slide completely or at least trust someone else to do the ones that must be done.
3. I will continue to push myself to be more, but I will plan for a day or weekend of relaxation where I recharge my mind, body, and attitude.
4. I will continue to expect perfect attempts, but I will also expect less than perfect results. Reality is not as simple as the imagination. I have to allow myself, and those around me, the flexibility of mistakes. It’s the trying and doing that is most important. If there is still a cobweb in the corner after the dusting is done, the world will not implode.
Being a good wife is about pushing me to be the best person I can be. It’s not just about the house or the family, although those things will naturally be affected by what I become. As I push myself to grow, I will fall into the pattern of being more to those around me. As I grow me, I will become the good wife I want to become.
July 5th, 2007
I am a writer. That is my job, my passion, and my desire for the rest of my life – for today.
When I started getting serious about my writing (instead of keeping a journal of poems and short stories hidden on my shelf), I looked for opportunities to make money. I tried the traditional methods – sending in manuscripts and queries to magazines. The stack of rejection form letters started to grow out of control.
I needed a different direction. More importantly, I needed money. Now! I stumbled on a sight that would pay me to post comments on forums. It wasn’t much, but anything was more than nothing. I signed on.
By using my writing – where ever I could use it - I discovered a world of information. To write intelligently about the subjects, even for just 15 words, I had to know something about them. I researched, read, and surfed the internet for tidbits of information that would make my posts useful.
After a couple of months, some of the site owners began to ask me to write articles for the sites. Now I really had to do some research. Writing 300 words can be quite a challenge when you don’t know the subject intimately.
The more I wrote these short articles, the tighter my writing became. I started to stretch my employment opportunities by looking for writing jobs on www.craigslist.com, and other freelance sites. I got a job writing a football article once a week. Since I had never been into football, I started reading up. I think this last season was the greatest season of my husband’s married life. I actually encouraged him to watch football.
I continued to stretch my writing skills by taking classes, writing in a multitude of subjects, and attending conferences and seminars. The more I grew, the better my techniques became. I continued to submit to print magazines, and just last week I sold my first major article.
It was a tremendous feeling. Instead of sitting back and coasting on that feeling, I’m using it to push me even further. Everyday is another chance to get my work out there for people to view and enjoy. What I have found is that everyone gets there in a different way. It’s great to use other people’s experience as a guide or encouragement, but you have to find your own path.
If you want to be a writer, the only thing you have to do is WRITE.
This is one of many posts being featured in a work at home site and a carnival focused on entrepreneurs. Stop by and check out some of the stories and tips that you can find there.
July 3rd, 2007
This is a crazy time for the United States. In its young history, this country has never been so pressed to divide. The only other time that division came up, the country fought to keep itself unified.
But here we are - facing division with pride - even after so many died to keep us together.
I hadn’t thought about it all that much. Actually, I’ve been trying to duck below the radar and not think or talk about it at all. I have close friends that are legal immigrants. I don’t want to offend.
This morning, I had a powerful email to consider. The words were so moving that I was sure they were a hoax. No one would dare say things like that in public, with witnesses and press and a record of what was being said. My search through the internet found confirmation at Snopes and several other sites.
Richard Lamm gave a speech a few years ago about how to destroy America. It was a copy of this speech that I found haunting my email this morning. What he had to say then rings louder today as this country faces a decision about illegal immigration. It’s scary to think that something that seems so insignificant could be the force that divides and conquers the United States forever.
I am all for compassion. I am all for understanding. I am all for celebrating uniqueness. The counterbalance must be that first and foremost we stand united. “United we stand.” Diversity is great – division will destroy.
July 3rd, 2007
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