Archive for July, 2007
Working at home has its blessing (although there are those days that these same blessings can be cursings). The kids are close at hand, so I know what they are doing and where they are - for the most part. Work is dictated by me, because I am the boss, so I work as much or as little as the chaos of the day allows. Being a work at home mom (WAHM) is the perfect life for me.
It wasn’t the perfect life just a few years back.
There were so many ideas running through my head and not enough direction. It took some serious soul searching to narrow things down. Instead of trying to find something new, I went back to my first love of writing and found new ways to utilize it through online opportunities.
1. Find some classes in your area (online can be a great source). Taking classes is a great way to learn new tips, refresh old skills, and grasp the trends that are hot for now.
a. I took some grant writing courses to help me refresh the skills I had gained in college. These same courses gave me the basis for developing a business. With the accumulated information, I put together a packet to help other new businesses lay out a strategic plan and potential find money. These same courses also gave me a leg up on grants research and development that I have used in many applications.
b. The local community college has online courses available at a large discount if I go through their website. I am able to “take” my class when time allows – with is great when you are a work at home mom with active kids.
2. Attending conferences will give you contacts and increase you experience in the field of your choice. Go to all the seminars that are offered at the conferences and get engrossed in the lunches or dinners. You never know who you might be sitting next to or where you might hear about your next job.
3. Dive right in. There are always opportunities to do what you love; you may just have to search them out. If you get paid for it, no matter how small the pay, it will be more than you are making NOT working. My first writing job was for a local paper. It wasn’t much, but cashing that first check meant I was an actual PAID writer. Now I don’t hesitate to fill in the employment section of forms. WRITER.
4. Don’t underestimate the skills that you have. When I first began writing online, I was hesitant to charge anything. Being new in a field can be scary. After working hard for no very little pay – or worse, NO pay (because some guy stiffed me), I became a bit more bold in my requests. I expect more because I know that I am worth it.
5. Pass it on. The most valuable thing I can do as a work at home mom is to share the information and experience I have with others so that they can join the ranks. When I found a paid to post opportunity, I shared it with friends and family. As I began to branch out into the blogosphere, I encouraged others to join me. At least two of my compatriots are now making a decent living writing online.
Finding employment on the internet is a new experience for most of the world. Being a work at home mom can add to the apprehension. It is possible to make a living through the internet with more than just selling items. With a little creativity, and a lot of faith, you can write your own ticket to financial freedom.
July 29th, 2007
I have never been a football fan. If my husband wanted to watch his favorite college team – the Auburn Tigers – then he had to go to his dad’s or a friend’s house. Football was not my cup of tea. Why a bunch of boys wanted to run around a field and hit each other while chasing a pig never made much sense.
Big games were tolerated – the Super Bowl and the Iron Bowl - occasionally. I did manage to even attend a few “Bowl” parties out of moral support for my husband’s obsession. Even with the fanfare surrounding the monumental games, football just didn’t do it for me.
It’s not that I don’t like sports. I love sports. I grew up around brothers, male cousins, and a whole gaggle of guys in the neighborhood. I ran track, played volleyball, basketball, and baseball. At the University of South Alabama, I became enamored with soccer (yes, the players themselves had much do with that infatuation).
Living in Mobile provided me the unique experience of the Senior Bowl – where all the top college senior football players come together for one last game. I actually attended one of these while at college. Even the “stars” of the sport couldn’t get me excited. Our seats were so far from the action that I found myself bored. (If you ever find yourself bored at a football game, don’t yell out “Homerun” when the team scores. It’s not as funny to everyone else as you will think it is.).
After ten years of a no-football zone, I think my husband resigned himself to being away from the house starting each August. It was this last season that something near miraculous happened to change his fate and my outlook.
I had a chance to write for a football website – ironically it was about my husband’s team. Not only did I become intrigued by the game, but I actually found that with just a few minutes each day I was able to keep up with the fundamentals of the sport and even able to impress my husband with my foresight and knowledge (Don’t tell him you are quoting footballfan200Z from the internet. Take all the credit for yourself).
Every day (sometimes less often) I took some time to scan the sports page for interesting football stories. If that wasn’t possible, I would cruise some of the online football sites or blogs – it’s almost sad just how many of these are available for your viewing. It turns out that football had plays and strategies, and it even takes some brains to figure it all out. This blew my whole theory of the dumb jocks and the pig.
I didn’t study the stats of the players like many diehard fans would do. I did find out about a few standout players – some personal history and talent facts. It was finding out about the players that made the game much more personal – and more enjoyable for me.
The family reunion is only a few months away, but I’ll be able to hold my own when the talk swings to sports. I don’t know the name of the plays, or the details of the strategies. I will turn the talk to the player’s positives and negatives. I know the players, and that puts me way ahead of most women out there. If I weren’t married, it would probably be a good way to pick up guys.
Taking time out of a busy schedule to read about or research a game you don’t even like may not be what you had in mind. I’ve compiled some basic dos and don’ts for the women who don’t want to know football, but do want to appear that way.
- Know which team your significant other is rooting for and cheer when that team catches the ball or kicks the ball through the goal posts (those white sticks on the end of either side of the field) – these are both good things.
- Know which person is in charge of the team. You don’t have to know his name, but at least know his title – “Coach.”
- If your team takes the ball across the line at the end of the field (also referred to as the end zone because it is at the end of the field) it is called a “touchdown.” I covered this earlier, but it is still important. Whatever you do, don’t yell “homerun.” Many a firm relationship has been crushed by just such an action.
- Under no circumstances should you try to talk to your significant other during the game. Save all questions about the game or the team’s reasoning for that odd play until halftime or after the game or better yet just ask someone else.
- Anything about the relationship should be discussed AFTER the season is over – but before basketball season starts. You should have a window of about 4 hours.
- It is not okay to read a novel during the game. You have to at least pretend to show some interest.
- To make the ultimate impression, purchase seats to your significant other’s favorite team and make the game a surprise. Live games score BIG points in the wow factor.
How ever you approach the game of football, approach it you must if you have a football fan in your life. Be careful, if you get to close you are likely to fall into the mayhem. The next thing you know, you have your face painted and are screaming on national television.
As for me, I’ll stick with the facts and look forward to March Madness.
July 27th, 2007
My kids are going to lose my weight for me. The diets haven’t worked. The exercise videos still sit calmly in their wrappers. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s time to make my kids take some action.
It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ll be doing the hard work; they’ll just be riding around and singing. Think of it as a very slow hay ride – minus the hay. This new regimen will have two focus points. It will get me past the hump of the day (about 4 pm when I start to wear down), and it will give me and my children some fun time.
Every day, I will take by big garden wagon (which I’m pretty sure weighs a ton) and load my kids in it (which definitely makes it weigh a ton). Then I will haul that wagon and kids around the yard (I measured and it is one quarter of a mile) two times. Eventually, I will work my way up to a mile. Then after the long haul, and before I collapse from exhaustion, I’ll spend some time with them on the playground – kicking the ball, swinging, or just throwing the Frisbee.
The secret to my weight loss with be movement. Instead of calling it a day and spending the evening propped on the couch, I’ll bring in the twilight with old fashioned fun. We’ve already been doing this all week, and the kids are having a blast. A huge added bonus is that they go to sleep much easier than before – as does mommy.
Not working out is not an option. I have found that if I don’t get up and prepare for the workout, then my “gym” comes to me and asks if its time to go for a ride. How do you say no to those sweet little faces? Guilt makes me get up and get going when motivation has long taken the day off. Before long, I’m having more fun than the kids are.
I knew I wanted to get moving again, and I thought I would break down and join a gym. Instead of spending money and taking time away from my family, I’m getting creative. The long haul is not only great cardio, but its strength training as well.
Weight loss is about burning more calories than you take into your body. I’m not counting calories, but I know that by eating only when I’m hunger, stopping before I’m full, and running with my children until we are all ready to collapse will not only make me healthier, but it will make me a better mom to boot.
July 25th, 2007
“You’re not normal.” The anesthetist had known me all of twenty minutes and this is what she had to say. When my regular doctor joined the party, I told him about her comments. He GRINNED. “Oh, I could have told them that.” Such a sympathetic reply.
All of this was going on in the delivery room as I was giving birth to the newest addition to our family, a healthy baby boy. Even the doctor had only known me a total of seven months. I’ve always known I was unique and I have always skipped along to the beat of my own drummer, but the comments made me wonder just how off I must be.
It’s one thing to consider your self different. Those of you who have read some of my other postings know I’m not embarrassed by my abnormality. It’s quite a different sensation when perfect strangers are out shouting it in the street just how off you are.
The more the doctors’ comments ran through my head, the more I contemplated normal. How many truly normal people to I really know? For that matter, what exactly is normal?
Webster’s defines normal as standard, average, or usual. For me, normal has always been about following the trends or the crowd. Normal is to be like everyone or everything else.
There have been very few moments in my life when I did things the way everyone else did them. You could call it my signature, if you like, but I didn’t just dare to be different; I determined to be different. As I was growing up, I found pride in my uniqueness. Today, I still get a warm, fuzzy feeling when someone looks at me like I’m “not quite right.”
Finding scripture to back up my eccentric behavior was like a charge of lightning against a metal building. I think I actually lit up when I read that I am called to be peculiar (different, set apart). Finally, a word from God that I knew I could handle and do with out feeling overwhelmed.
With the word of God backing me up, I have become even more determined to be off center. Along the journey to “unbalanced”, my habits and ideas have changed as I have grown and learned and experienced more (and I’ve managed to scare a few people with the changes – but that’s another story for another day). The real key is that despite my changes, I’m still “unique in all the world.” (This is a Little Prince reference – if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.).
For me, it has been all about the leading or should I say the following – just not the crowd. I’m not different because I don’t want to be like other people. I’m not different to cause a stir. I’m different because I step out each day trying to be like my Father. Walking in the steps that He left for me makes me different from others around me. His steps don’t give way to trends, times, things, or people.
I’m not alone in my walk (or attempted walk) in the Father’s steps. There are people all around me who go about their day trying to do the Father’s will. With so many striving to walk in His steps, little clones should be running about. That’s another part of the uniqueness that is this Walk. No two paths are the same. His purpose for me and His path for me are specific to me. I’m that special to Him. Instead of a bunch of clones wandering about, there are a bunch of odd, peculiar, unique individuals reflecting the glory of their Father.
How are you the “odd man out?” What are some of the peculiar paths God has called you to walk? What are you going to do today to set your self apart from the world? God has made you “unique in all the world.” What will you do with that uniqueness?
This article is being featured in the Carnival of Craziness and even won a “Badge of Honor.”
July 24th, 2007
Being a good wife is not as difficult as it may seem. You can be the super-mom, loving wife, and all around perfect woman with just a few key ideas in your arsenal. Sure, you have to live with a husband, put up with the kids, and find a way to juggle sensuality and sensibility with out embarrassing yourself or your kids. But in the end, it all comes out in the wash.
1. Put God first. Every day should start with some quiet reflection time and some study time. If you will make Him and His word a priority, you will find that the rest of the day will manage to work itself out.
2. Put your family second. It’s easy to get caught up in the things that we think are important and miss those things that truly are. Turn the TV off – even in the middle of the show – to talk with your kids or go out and take a walk. Turn off the computer screen and face your spouse when he needs to talk with you. Let the people around know that they are more important than anything else.
3. Make time for yourself. Scurrying around taking care of the family and the home and the neighbors means that not much else gets done. But you need to take time and pamper yourself. Do you like a good book? Take a few minutes each day to hide away with one. Even Jesus Christ got away from the crowds to rest and recharge.
4. Plan ahead. Make a menu for the next two weeks so you (and your family) will know what to expect from meal time. It will save you time not having to pour through the pantry only to find that you don’t have the one ingredient you need to make that dish that was on your mind. Not only does a menu help with the cooking, but it will help you plan out a grocery list as well.
5. Just do it. I can’t be the only one that has walked by the dryer KNOWING there were cloths in it just waiting to be folded. Many days I spend more time putting off the job than it would actually take if I just did it. What’s worse is that chores, like the dishes and the dirty cloths, find a way to multiply if they are left unattended. Before long the task is so daunting that it would be easier to just leave the mess and move to a new house. Instead of making the bad seem worse and eating time in the process, just do what needs to be done and get it over with.
6. No more excuses. I’ve started my game plan over a hundred times – at least if feels that way. I’m not putting out the white flag. Instead, I’m re-organizing, re-planning, and re-attacking. Eventually, I’ll get it right. Until then, I won’t fall back on the excuses – “It’s never worked before” “No one ever helps” “If only my parents had taught me different” – and I will push through to victory one step at a time.
Being a good wife and keeping a contented family is not that difficult. It’s just a matter of getting my priorities straight and getting going. By spending time with God, putting my family first, taking time for myself, planning ahead, doing what needs to be done, and not making excuses, then the battle is almost won.
This article will be featured in the Carnival of family life starting July 30th. Please give the host site a visit.
July 23rd, 2007
This morning I got up, had some quiet time with God, did a short work out, and then got ready for work. When I say “got ready for work,” I mean that I fixed my hair, picked out and put on an outfit, and put on shoes.
For those of you who are unaware, I work at home. I’m a homeschool mom, a full-time mom, and a freelance writer. Up until this morning, I had never thought about the importance of preparing myself both mentally and physically for work. There was never a doubt it WAS work. It just seemed that it was the kind of work you could roll out of bed and do (actually have done 
).
It’s amazing how much more I was able to get done just simply by getting ready for work. Laundry, shopping, family time, naps, and a menu for the next three weeks are all done and there is still half the day left.
My motivation was a combination of a Flylady.com suggestion that I heard at a conference this past weekend, and the implication from some guy (dare I say my husband) that I don’t contribute to the family income. If I’m going to claim that staying at home is a job in and of its self then I need to start acting like I’m going to that job.
I’m taking it a step farther (another tip from this weekend) and posting a time when my children’s day starts. They are expected to have had breakfast AND done the morning chores before that time.
Being the optimist that I am, I know that this is the system that will get my family motivated and on track. Being the writer that I am, I expect that this adventure will be the beginning of many fun and colorful articles.
July 23rd, 2007
It’s not easy being a good wife, especially when you have a husband to contend with. There are just days when his plan and my plan don’t ever mesh. At that point, I can throw a fit and quit or just “back up and punt.” Having grown up in a house full of men, no man will ever make me throw in the towel.
What do I do to maintain my good wife status when it’s time to punt? Most of it is improvisation, but some of it is planned chaos.
1. Never let them see you sweat was a saying invented by a mother of boys. If you are in a house full of men, you can not think you aren’t sure what is going on. If they smell fear or sense hesitation, they will eat you alive. When confronted with plans that your husband has made without discussing it with you (even though you have a list of things to do posted in clear site for the whole world to see) it is time to nod a lot, take a long, deep breath and excuse yourself to the bathroom. Trust me, it won’t be a lie. You will need to go. While in the bathroom practice your smile and try to figure out what you can get done before and after the outing. The rest will just have to wait until tomorrow.
2. Set aside time every day for catch-up, or at the least you will need some time each week. By having a make up opportunity, you aren’t as likely to freak out when #1 happens – yet again.
3. Learn to distinguish between wrestling and fighting (and no, this isn’t just about the kids). As for the kids, there are those times that boys will be boys – no matter how much you tell them NOT to wrestle. The key is learning when the wrestling is on the brink of fighting and breaking it up there. You will hear a distinct change in tones just before this happens. Remember to act quickly and with out fear.
4. Just say yes and when you can’t be positive then be quiet. If your husband is all excited about the plans he has made, don’t dampen them with your negativity. Being a good wife means bringing it up later. Take one for the team for now. After the dust has settled, ask if you and your husband can talk about the situation. It may be that by then you aren’t even all that concerned, but it would still be good to let your husband know that you had plans too.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think a good wife is a push over, she’s just flexible. When something comes up you have to ask yourself, “is this the hill I want to die on.” Is it worth upsetting yourself, your husband, and your kids? I have yet to find a situation that couldn’t wait until later. Now I’ve just got to learn to WAIT until later to bring it up.
July 19th, 2007
Today I experienced a serious case of déjà vu. I was working at my computer, having spent the day with the hubby looking for a building for our next venture, when he walks in and sets some library books on my desk. The one on top sent a shiver up my spine. “I’ve been here before.”
As I was telling a friend about the experience, it dawned on me that today was one of those days where I had stayed on track. It was a good day. Maybe déjà vu isn’t some strange “psychic” thing. Maybe it is just the spirit man and the physical man finally catching up. Maybe it’s the confirmation that you are exactly where God wants you to be right at that moment – or at least where He has been preparing you to be.
Just the thought of being on the right path is enough to get me motivated and excited all over again. It makes me want to climb Mt. Everest or swim the ocean or just tackle the clutter in the living room. Knowing that I’m doing good makes me want to do better.
Now I’ve been hit with a second realization. If success feels this good to me, I bet it feels this good to my children and my husband. If I set them up to finish the tasks that I ask them to accomplish then praise them for their effort and outcome, the positive forces will move to do more – better – with out being asked. Mom will finally be able to take the long bubble bath after dinner instead of washing the dishes.
On second thought, maybe that first flash wasn’t déjà vu after all. It could be that I got a whiff of too much cleaning fluid and I’ve just been delusional all this time. Ha! Boys cleaning without being told – had to have been a dream.
July 18th, 2007
It’s amazing how the moment you think you have it all together, it all seems to fall apart. Yesterday was so smooth. I got my work done, got the dishes and laundry done, did some cooking (and some freezing) and even did some exercising.
This morning, I got up all excited about another day like yesterday. The first thing that I got was confronted by someone about my attitude. Then my kids refused to cooperate. I got distracted from work, even though I knew I was on a time crunch to start with, and every one seemed determined to call me out.
It was a moment of truth. Three years ago, I would have thrown a complete temper tantrum. I would have demanded that everyone see things my way and would have been happy to point out all of my accomplishments and even more of their flaws.
Three weeks ago, I would have burst into tears. Nothing hurts more than trying to please others only to find out just how bad you are lacking. After a good cry and a long wallowing in self pity, I would have taken a hot bath (because I deserve to be pampered) and gone to bed early.
Three days ago, I would have just given up. It’s obvious that I can’t do anything I set out to do, so I wouldn’t have tried. I would have kicked up my feet, watch some television, and avoided the world.
Today, I faced the distraction head on and recognized what was going on. It would have been easy to ignore the plan I put forth. I chose to work and deal with the chaos all at once. It would have been easy to take offense at the actions and attitudes of those around me. I chose to accept that people are people and not lose any sleep over it. I could have done a lot of things, and I would have probably been justified for every one of them.
Why was today different? Today was different because yesterday morning I committed to God (out loud in prayer and in writing as well) to making it different. I decided that since I am responsible for the choices I make, I might as well start making good choices.
How do you face the chaos and come out on top? Do you have a tip that will get another woman through the yuck that can blind side us? We are all in this together, so blow off a little steam and maybe we can blow up a lifeboat together.
This article is being featured on a site dedicated to helping others walk the walk. Stop in and see what they are all about.
July 17th, 2007
I am fat. I’ve tried to ignore the fact for the last couple of years, but the mirrors don’t lie and I have to look in them every now and again. My family has always been weight conscious, so it would be an easy out to say it’s genetic. Just this last holiday, the conversation turned to diets and weight loss almost as soon as we were all in one spot together.
The truth is much more brutal. I am fat because I choose to eat too much. I would go so far as to say I am addicted to the stuff. There are times when I am so full I have to loosen my pants, but I can still find space for some chocolate cake. There is no denying it. But I’ve decided that just admitting that fact is to win the battle. Now I can face the enemy and know it’s the enemy.
And face the enemy I must. Unlike other addicts, I can’t avoid the temptation. In order to survive, I must eat. So how do I deal with the substance that is wreaking havoc on my life?
The key to losing weight and gaining control over the food is to chew less. It’s not about swallowing the food whole, it’s about putting less food in my mouth to start with. It’s about making a choice to eat or not to eat. Admitting that I have a problem has already made the choice much easier. The last two days have been about just eating until I’m satisfied - think first date kind of meal - but still eating what I really like or want.
Even with the triumph of the last two days, temptation has still tried to creep in. At lunch, I knew I was satisfied, but I wanted to finish my sandwich. I needed to finish my sandwich. It didn’t make sense, but it was an overwhelming feeling. I ended up choosing to stop after three quarters and even left some chips on the plate. By the time I cleaned up my mess and put my dishes in the sink, I realized that I was just passed satisfied. (The brain is so slow in figuring out the stomach is full.)
Then later, I “needed” something sweet to eat. There are NO sweets in my house right now - not for any particular reason other than we ate them all - but I needed something. I even thought about making cookie dough, but I didn’t want to go to the trouble or have to clean up the mess. (Writing this right now, I realize that what I NEEDED was a fix – hmmm).
I was about to call my husband at his dad’s house and have him bring me a candy bar when I remembered the Reese’s Cup my middle son saved from his class at church this past Sunday to give as a gift to his older brother. They hadn’t said anything about it since then, so I figured that made it open to the public. Just as I was settling in to enjoy the experience, it occurred to me what I was going to do.
The truth was, I didn’t NEED anything. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t even all that tired. I just wanted to eat. I pushed the candy aside, and it will live to see another day. I got a glass of water and called it a night.
Food does not control my life any more. As I take back control, I know that the weight is already starting to melt off. Technically, weight loss occurs when you take in less energy than you give off. If I’m not shoving my mouth full of food that I’m not hungry for then the scales will soon be tipping in my favor once again.
This article is being featured in a carnival of dieting tips. Do you have a favorite?
July 17th, 2007
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