There are three simple keys to making any relationship work:
1. submission
2. sacrifice
3. serving
I didn’t say that they were easy keys, I said they were simple. If you focus on what YOU are or what YOU are not doing in a relationship, you will find that relationship becomes easier (even if the circumstances haven’t changed).
Let me try to explain further.
Submission is not about giving in to the other person’s wants or demands. Submission is between me and God. If I put His desires and plans for my life FIRST, then I won’t run into so much opposition from the people around me. Even when an attack does occur, I will be so focused on doing what I know I should be doing that the attack won’t cause me to stumble.
So submit – to God and to His will for your life. I promise that submission taken this direction is always a good thing (even if it takes some time to get over the “I” syndrome).
In order to truly submit to anything, you have to be willing to give up other things in your life. You have to sacrifice in order to submit.
Sacrifice is all about killing the “I’s” in life. Next time you start to complain about anything, see how many times you use “I” in the rant. To live a peaceful life, you have to get to the point where it’s God first, the other person second, and only then do you come into the picture. It hurts. I won’t lie about that. But it’s a pain more like getting your legs waxed than getting a broken bone. It’ll be over in no time and everything will be a little smoother because you went through it.
Sacrifice the “I’s” and watch your relationships flourish.
You’ll find that the more you sacrifice in your life the more you seem to be doing in the lives of those around you. You’ll also find joy in your service to others.
“What Have You Done For Me Lately?” I grew up singing this song. Recently I revised the saying – “What have I done for you lately?” When ever I feel tired, overwhelmed, hurt, or discourage by the actions and attitudes of the people around me, I ask this question. I find that by serving others, I bless myself.
Serving the people around me forces me to sacrifice the time and energy I would have spent focused on me. Refocusing my life brings me to a place of submission to God’s will.
Simple. I just wish it were easier to do.
December 8th, 2006
I have always felt fat.
At twelve, I started developing curves. I was not like the other girls that I saw around me or like the pictures in the magazine. Add to that my mother being a “beauty queen,” and you can see how my obsession with dieting got its beginning. I was blessed to never have developed an eating disorder, but I also missed out on a lot growing up because of my insecurities about being fat.
The irony is that I wasn’t fat. Granted, I wasn’t skinny either. I was full of curves, physically fit, with hair to die for and intelligence to boot. Looking at pictures from back then, I’m shocked that I thought I was fat.
By the time I got to college, I had tried fad diets, herbal pills, and regular exercise routines. I still deemed myself fat. It was then that I started teaching ballroom dance. It seems that the twice daily stretching combined with 8 hours of dancing had a way of getting my body into a shape I didn’t know could exist. The fat just melted off. I was a solid mass of dancing frenzy. For the first time in my life, I wore a size 8 (and that’s back when size 8 was actually a size 8 
).
Even then, I didn’t feel thin. I did feel sexy, but I knew I wasn’t thin. With breast and hips like mine, I knew I would probably never be truly thin, not like the models in the magazines. So, I felt fat. What is it about our society that makes perfectly healthy girls crazy because they can’t fit into a size zero? Who was the MAN (you know it had to be a man) that decided what fat was going to be? Can we redefine what “they” have deemed acceptable?
I honestly don’t know. It does seem as if society is re-embracing women with curves (ala Marilyn Monroe). The kids today are wearing clothes that emphasize the rolls and fat and aren’t trying to disguise it. That’s a change for the better, right?
Even though the trends seem to have changed, I don’t think the attitudes have changed. I saw on a recent television show where girls that had the rolls hanging out considered other girls of similar builds to be fat, even though they did not think the same of themselves. Are we just in denial? For me, there is still far too much airbrushing going on in the print industry to believe that attitudes about fat have truly changed.
I’m tired of waiting for society to wise up. Today, I start a revolution. Won’t you join me?
I’m starting with my own children, but you are welcome to start with your children or any child that you have daily or regular contact with. Every day, I intend to let my children know they are special. Every day, I intend to encourage good eating habits. Every day, I intend support, encourage, and exhibit regular physical activity (yes that means I have to turn off the TV).
One child, one step at a time, I am out to change the world.
December 8th, 2006
